The Switch
by Rangerfan2012
Summary: Steph becomes tired of Ranger and Joe's constant alpha male routine. Leave it to Diesel to show up & decide that the guys need to learn a lesson. Sometimes walking in each other's shoes can teach a valuable lesson. Which one is in it for love and which one is in it just to say that he won the girl?
1. Chapter 1

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

Chapter 1

SPOV

"Lester! I need a ride!" I yelled. I couldn't wait to get away from the scene of my latest vehicle explosion. My latest POS, a 2002 Ford Escort with a fading red paint job, had just been destroy when Tony Biancho decided that he didn't want me to return his little sister, Sandy to the system. She had planned to show up for court, but her boss decided to call her in to work, telling her that if she didn't show up that she wouldn't have a job. Sandy had been arrested for drunk and disorderly, and it was a first time offense which made it a low bond. Regardless, Tony decided that the best way to keep his little sister out of jail was to pour gasoline all over my car and light a match while I was in Macy's. Luckily do to my bad parking karma, my car was park in the farthest corner of the parking lot and the cars that had been parked nearby had already left. The worst part was that I had called Sandy earlier and she had already agreed to meet me at the police station after she got off of work. It would have taken Vinnie less than an hour to bond her out again. Apparently she had mentioned to Tony that I was going to take her back to jail. Unfortunately, she failed to tell Tony that she was meeting me willing and he decided that it was his job to protect his little sister from the Bombshell Bounty Hunter. This is not how I wanted to spend my Friday!

My name is Stephanie Plum. I have unruly dark curly hair, blue eyes, and can currently fit into my jeans without using creative methods to zip them. Sometimes zipping my jeans is nothing short of a miracle since I have an addiction to cake, especially pineapple upside down cake. I'm currently a bounty hunter for my cousin Vinnie's Bonds office. I had to black mail him to get the job, since I'm not his first choice as a bounty hunter. Lucky for me, he was desperate for someone to collect low levels failure-to-appears. My bills stay mostly paid, and I can usually afford to pay for my TastyKakes and Pino's, which keeps me happy. Unfortunately, sometimes I have to roll around in garbage or my car gets blown up. Is it sad that my car blowing up seems almost normal?

"Sure, Beautiful. Wouldn't you rather catch a ride with the Boss or Morelli?" Lester Santos asked. Lester would best be described as tall, dark, and handsome. Lester is Latino, stands about six feet tall, has beautiful green eyes, and solid muscles. He's just one of the good looking men that work at Rangeman that can make most of the women in Trenton walk into walls. Lucky for me, I'm immune to Lester since he's one of my best friends. I, however, am not immune to his boss.

The "Boss" that Lester referred to is Ricardo Carlos Manoso, street name Ranger. Ranger is the CEO of Rangeman LLC. He is the Henry Higgins to my Eliza Doolittle. Ranger is former Special Forces and has the body to prove it. He has been my bounty hunting mentor since I began working for Vinnie. He is Cuban American and stars in most of my fantasies, not that I would ever admit it. Ranger is about six feet tall, with mocha latte skin. He's like the statue of David if you dipped him in caramel. When I first met him he wore his hair long, but currently he's wearing it short. He once said that he would ruin me for all other men and he did. I'm in love with him. He's told me countless times that he doesn't do relationships, so I keep my feeling to myself.

Morelli is actually Joe Morelli, my currently ex-boyfriend and I plan on keeping it that way. We had our usual fight about my job which included a lot of yelling and hands waving around. Joe is a plain-clothes vice cop with the Trenton Police Department. Joe and I have history and most of it is not good. When I was six, Joe took me into his father's garage to teach me how to play 'choo-choo'. Apparently, I didn't learn my lesson to stay away from the Morelli boys because when I was sixteen, he talked my out of my virginity behind the counter of the Tasty Pastry. I part of me loves Joe, but I don't feel the same way about him as I do Ranger.

The only thing these two men have in common is the need to protect me. Other than that, these two men could not be more opposite. Morelli has a temper and it shows. It's usually involves loud yelling and a lot of Italian hand gestures. Ranger also has a temper, but it never shows. I once heard Ranger tell a skip 'now you've made me mad' in the same tone of voice as asking a Librarian for a book. He rarely shows his emotions behind that blank face he uses. Morelli thinks that I should marry him, and have his babies. Ranger has no interest in marrying me and having babies. The most annoying thing is that neither one of them has every really asked how I feel about marriage and children. This brings me to another problem. I have no interest in marrying Morelli and having his children. However, I would marry Ranger and have his children in a heartbeat.

"No! I don't want those jerks anywhere near me. Take me home now!" I said stalking over to Lester's Rangeman SUV. Lester is one of my favorite Merry Men, which is my nickname for Ranger's employees. I decided to ask Lester to give me a ride back to my apartment since Ranger and Morelli had just pissed me off. I knew that asking Lester for a ride would annoy Ranger and Joe. I know that I'm playing dirty, but trust me, they deserve it.

Ranger had arrived less than five minutes after my car went off grid with his second in command Tank. Ranger tends to put trackers on my car. I don't care for it, but since I know that whining about it wouldn't do any good, I choose to pretend that their not there. Ranger must have been close by since he beat the Fire Department, the Trenton Police, and Joe Morelli. Morelli had driven up just in time to see Ranger hugging me. Ranger's arm around me never goes over well with Morelli. Not that it's any of his business since we are no longer seeing each other.

Lester climbed into the driver's seat. "You know that Ranger and Morelli will show up at your apartment as soon as I drop you off."

"Yeah, I know." I grumbled.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lester asked.

"No." I was so mad that I couldn't even cry. It only took Lester ten minutes to take me home. Lester insisted on escorting me up to my apartment. While he checked my apartment for nutcases and stalkers, I went into my kitchen and opened a new box of TastyKakes.

"Do you promise to call me if you need anything?" Lester asked. I could tell he was worried about me. Lester tends to drop his blank face when it's just the two of us.

"Don't worry about me. I can call my dad and ask him to drop off Big Blue. I'll be fine as long as Ranger and Morelli give me some space."

Once Lester left, I called my dad and asked him to drop off the Buick until I could collect my insurance check to buy a new car. He was about to go to the VFW with Carl Constanza's father and said that he would leave the keys in the ignition in the parking lot of my apartment building. I felt a familiar tingle as I hung up the phone.

"You need to turn around and leave. I don't remember giving you permission to come into my apartment. And if Morelli is with you, take him with you. Neither one of you is welcome here." I said with my back to the intruder.

"Babe."

Babe, which is apparently Ranger's go to word that can mean just about anything. Right now I'm pretty sure it was a request that I listen to him plead his case, but I couldn't know for sure since Ranger is not known for his speaking skills.

I turned around in time to see Morelli walk into my apartment and ask angrily, "Cupcake, why is Manoso here?"

"He's just leaving and so are you!" I snapped.

"I'm not leaving until we talk!" Joe yelled.

"Babe, I can throw him out if you want." Ranger offered.

"Wow, Ranger, a whole sentence. Maybe I should write this down, who knows when you'll say a whole sentence again." I could feel my Italian-Hungarian temper about to boil over. "I am sick and tired of this constant fight between the two of you. Do the two of you have fun constantly pulling me in two different directions? I can't take it anymore. I used to think this whole macho alpha male crap was about me, but you know I realized today that it's not. Joe, you only want me in order to keep me from Ranger. And Ranger, you only want me so you can say that you stole me away from Joe. I am not a toy to be fought over."

"Babe, I'm not leaving until we talk about this." Ranger said calmly.

"And I'm not leaving until he does." Joe yelled walking over to stand chest to chest with Ranger.

"Morelli, I suggest that you take a step back before you do or say something that you will live to regret." Ranger warned. I have to be honest, if Ranger had talked to me in the tone of voice he just used with Joe, I would have wet my pants.

Lucky for me, Ranger and Joe were so caught up with facing off with each other that they didn't notice when I quietly slipped out my apartment door. I was in such a hurry to make a quick get-a-way that I ran directly into Tank in the hallway.

"You okay, Little Girl?" he asked.

"You may want to go in there before they try to kill each other." I sighed, gesturing towards my apartment.

"You know he loves you." Tank said looking towards my apartment door.

"Which one? The one that wants to control me or the one that adds qualifiers every time he says it?" I said fighting back the tears.

Then Tank did something that I never expected. He hugged me. "I'll keep Ranger from killing Morelli." He promised. Tank handed me a piece of paper and a key fob. "This is my address, direction to my house, and the codes to my front gate and security system. I'm on duty for most of the weekend, so I'm going to stay in my apartment on four. You can hide out at my place until you're ready to deal with them. Take as long as you need. I'll have Lester pack you a bag and take it to my house. Morelli won't be able to find you and Ranger will never think to look there."

"You like me?" I asked in shock.

"Ah heck, Little Girl, I love you. But it's more of a little sister kind of love." Tank explained. "Take your trackers out of your purse. You dad pulled up in the Buick, get out of here before they realize your gone."

"Thanks, Tank." I told him as I quickly found the two trackers in my purse and raced down the stairs to meet my dad.

"Hi, Pumpkin. Are you okay? You look upset." He said as he handed me the keys.

"Nothing I can't handle. I just needed to get out of my apartment." I shrugged.

"The phone's been ringing off the hook since your car exploded. You mother started ironing the dish towels." He laughed.

"Not my fault."

"It never is, Pumpkin. I better get going; Carl Sr. is waiting to give me a ride."

"Bye, Daddy." I said giving him a hug, before taking one last look up at my apartment window and climbing into Big Blue. Those two idiots probably haven't even realized I'm gone, I thought as I started the car and drove out of the parking lot.


	2. Chapter 2

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun. Possible spoilers to Wicked Appetite.

I would like for thank everyone for posting their reviews and comments. I really appreciate each and every one of them.

Chapter 2

Diesel's POV

I needed a break from searching for the SALIGIA stones. I was reluctant to go on vacation and leave Lizzy with my cousin Wulf running around, but she didn't want to take off work from the bakery. Apparently she really likes her job.

I decided that it was time for me to take a vacation. I hadn't been to New Jersey in a while so I decided to go to Trenton to visit Stephanie, or Sunshine as I sometimes call her. This way I'm way I'm close enough to Lizzy if she needs me. It had been a while since the Stephanie and I had hung out, and hanging out with Stephanie would be a lot more fun than going on a vacation alone. The truth be told, I kind of miss her. We always have a lot of fun together. She's one of my closest friends and one of the few people that has clearance to know about BUM, the Board of Unmentionable Marshalls. Stephanie has even helped me with a couple of cases when other unmentionables abuse their power. She helps me find them so I can relieve them of their abilities.

I popped into Steph's apartment expecting to find Stephanie, hanging out on her couch, watching Ghostbusters. Instead I found Ranger and Morelli standing toe to toe, looking like they're about to kill each other. A big black guy that I think that Steph calls 'Tank' was watching them closely in case he needed to step in. It would have been entertaining, except that I was concerned that Stephanie was nowhere to be found.

"Why don't the two of you get it over with and kiss already?" I laughed, as two very stunned men whipped their heads around and looked at me.

"Where did you come from?" Morelli barked.

"Diesel." Ranger greeted me with a barely there nod.

"Where's Steph?" I asked.

"What do you mean 'where's Steph'? She was right here a minute ago." Morelli said looking around.

"She left about a half hour ago." Tank said looking at his watch.

Ranger looked at Tank and raised his eyebrow. Tank shrugged and said, "The two of you were too busy to notice. Not sure where she went, but I'm sure she's fine."

"It's Tank, right?" I asked. When he nodded, I continued "Could you give the three of us a moment alone? I would like to speak with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum over here."

Tank's nodded. "I'll be in the hallway" he said, stepping out of Sunshine's apartment and closing the door behind him.

"I'm out of here." Morelli growled as he started to walk towards the door.

"No, you're not. Take a sit, Morelli." I ordered, gesturing towards the couch.

"Try and make me." Morelli challenged me as he reached for the door knob.

"Have it your way." I said as I waved my hand towards the couch, which forced Morelli to turn around and walk over to the couch that I told him to sit on. I had to bite back a laugh with his legs went out from under him causing him to fall on the couch. Being an unmentionable comes with certain abilities. Some are fun to use, others are not. I hate when I have to force someone to do something against their will, but sometimes it's necessary. I rarely admit that I can do this particular skill, much less use it, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Stephanie has told me enough stories about Morelli to let me know that forcing him to sit down was necessary since Morelli tends to be a hot head.

Morelli has no idea that I have an unusual set of abilities. He's under the impression that I'm a normal bounty hunter like Stephanie or Ranger. I guess to some extend that is true except my skips have special abilities and their skips just fail to show up for court.

Ranger, however, is a different story. He knows that I'm not your typical bounty hunter. The funny thing is that Ranger hates it when I show up in Trenton. Ranger thinks that I'm loose cannon and that whenever I come around that I cause Stephanie to get into dangerous situations. Kind of ironic since Morelli feels the exact same way about Ranger being around Stephanie.

"What the….?" Joe yells. "You wave you hand and suddenly it's like I have no control over by own body. What's going on? How did you do that?"

"Zip it Morelli." I say before turning to face Ranger. "Ranger, would you please join Morelli on the couch?"

Ranger raises an eyebrow, but nods and walks over to sit on the opposite end of the couch, as far as he can get from Morelli. I'm actually a little surprised that he complied. Ranger is usually the one giving orders, not taking them.

"Let's try this again. Where's Stephanie?" I asked.

Joe is getting so mad that he's currently turning an ugly shade of purple. Ranger just crosses his arms across his chest and raises his eyebrow again. I can see why that annoys Stephanie. All he has is one word answers and raised eyebrows.

"Fine, if you don't want to do this the easy way, we can do it the hard way." I begin searching through Joe's mind. The ability to read minds is another one of my skills. It comes in handy on many occasions.

I decided that I only need to search the last twenty four hours of Joe's memory. He spent last night drinking beer, watching ESPN, and talking to Terry Gilman on the phone. If he's talking to Terry, I certainly hope that Stephanie and Morelli are on a break. I quickly scan through the rest of his memory working my way up to Joe driving up to the scene of Stephanie's car explosion. I can feel his fear as he drives up to the scene, followed by relief when he sees that she is okay. But when Morelli see Ranger hug Stephanie, he becomes filled with anger. The jealous he feels is overwhelming. Joe grabbed Stephanie's arm to try to get her to go with him, but Ranger stops him. Joe has one thought going over and over in his head; he wants to protect Stephanie from Ranger.

Okay, I've seen Morelli's side of the story, now I need to see Ranger's side. Reading Ranger's mind is more difficult than searching Joe's mind. Ranger's training with the Special Forces helps him stay in control of his emotions which makes his mind harder for me to read. I have suspicions that Ranger is an unmentionable, but no one at headquarters will confirm or deny it.

At least I know how far to go back in Ranger's mind. I go back to the point where Ranger gets the phone call about Stephanie's car going offline. He's about fifteen minutes away, but makes it to the mall parking lot in less than five minutes. Ranger is not one of those guys that you would expect to have emotions like fear, and he has no fear unless it involves Stephanie. I can feel how terrified he is at the thought of losing her. I also feel the relief wash over him as he feels a tingle on the back of his neck letting him know that she's nearby. I wonder if he knows that she gets that same tingle whenever he's near. He finally spots her, sitting in the parking lot a safe distance from the burning car. He can see Joe pull up as he hugs her. He knows that he's baiting Joe but he doesn't care he just has to put his arms around her so that he can feel for himself that she's alright. He's scared that she will leave with Joe which could lead them to getting back together. He loves her and the thought that he could lose her to Morelli kills him. I can also see that he's an idiot because he's afraid to tell her how he feels. When Morelli grabs her arm Ranger's only thought is that he needs to protect her from Morelli.

"You two are a piece of work. You two have more in common than either of you realize. Don't go anywhere." I comment as I pull out my cell phone and walk into Stephanie's kitchen so I can call BUM headquarters. When someone answers I give them my access code and ask to speak to someone in the special circumstances division.

"Special Circumstances Division, Simone speaking." I can't help but smile, I help Simone with something a few months ago and she owes me a big favor.

"You owe me and I need to collect." I tell her.

"Diesel." I can hear the smile in her voice. Simone has that whole sexy librarian thing going on. I can picture her taking off her glasses and biting on the end as she talks to me. "I've already told you that I don't date people with the agency. If this is about the rule change, everyone in this division is working on it. I'm hoping we can have the rule over turned in a few months." Simone explains, referring to the rules that states an unmentionable is not allowed to be in a relationship with another unmentionable. If we do one of us could lose our abilities and there's no way of predicting which one could lose their abilities.

"You're breaking my heart, but thanks for the update." I grin, "But that's not why I'm calling."

"What can I help you with, Diesel?" Simone asks.

"I need permission to do one of those freaky switch things." I explain.

"No way! Not going to happen! The first time we approved a switch like that it cause someone in Hollywood to write a movie starring Jodie Foster. And the second time we approved a switch it inspired someone to do a remake with that Lohan girl." Simone argued.

"It's not my fault that someone decided to do a switch on a movie producer's wife and daughter or a script writer and her mother. If you want to blame someone, blame Destiny. She should have known better than to pull that kind of stunt on those Hollywood types. Listen, I can guarantee that it won't happen again. These two are in Trenton, New Jersey, not in Hollywood." I plead. "Come on, Sweetheart. You owe me."`

"Fine." Simone reluctantly agrees. "But if anything goes wrong, I'll deny that I had anything to do with it and tell everyone that you broke into my office and doctored my files."

"Agreed." I smiled. "I knew I could count on you to come through for me."

"Yeah, Yeah. Just keep an eye on them, if another movie gets made about this, they'll take away our abilities from both of us. Just give me their names."

"The first one is Joseph Morelli from Trenton, New Jersey and the other is Carlos Manoso also from Trenton, New Jersey."

"I have it all taken care of. The switch will go into effect sometime in the next twenty four hours."

"Thanks, Darling." I said before hanging up my phone as I walk back into the living room to face Ranger and Morelli. "The two of you need to give Stephanie some space over the next couple of days. Give her time to cool off. Maybe the two of you can learn a few things over the next few days. Both of you go home and get some rest. The two of you are going to need it."


	3. Chapter 3

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

Chapter 3

Stephanie's POV

As I followed the directions to Tank's house, I couldn't help but to think of Lula. If she ever found out that Tank let me stay at his house she would go if full on Rhino mode. Lula is one of my closest friends. I met her when I was after my first FTA, which ironically was Joe. Lula is a former prostitute and has a heart of gold. Now she works as a file clerk at the Bonds office and occasionally helps me pick up skips. Lula is a plus size woman with an even bigger personality. She favors bright colored hair, and spandex clothes that are at least six sizes too small. Tank and Lula used to date and one of her biggest complaints was that he would always spend the night at her apartment, but he never took her to his place. Yep, I'm never telling Lula about this.

I pulled to a large iron gate that blocked a long drive way. Tank's house was far enough down the driveway that I could see it, but you couldn't see into the windows if they were passing by on the street. The house was located on the outskirts of Trenton, so I don't imagine that there is a lot of traffic that passes by on a regular basis. I entered the first security code on the keypad that was next to my driver's side window. Once the gate opened, I drove up the driveway until I came to another keypad on the driver's side. I quickly entered the second code, which opened the garage.

The outside of Tank's home is beautiful. The house looks to be a nice size, much bigger than the houses in the 'Burg, made of red brick and a dark blue roof with matching shutters framing the windows. I couldn't help but think, if Ranger is Batman and Batman has the Batcave, does that make Tank Robin and his home the Robin's Nest. I couldn't stop my giggle from escaping, knowing just how ridiculous that sounds. Tank would probably kick me out of his house if he knew that I just referred to him as Robin.

I used the key fob to enter the house through the door that connects the garage to the kitchen. I quickly entered the code that shut off the alarm and looked around the kitchen. This would be my mother's dream kitchen. Granite countertops and glossy wood cabinets, a gas stove, and a double oven. I made a mental note to not attempt to cook anything in this kitchen. I would hate to burn down. Tank would never forgive me.

I wonder if Tank would mind it if I explored the rest of his house. Before I had a chance to start, Tank's house phone began ringing. I decide to let the answering machine pick it up. There was no way I was going to answer that phone and take a chance that Ranger was on the other end of the line.

"Little Girl, it's me. Pick up the phone." I hear Tank say.

I grabbed the phone on the kitchen countertop and hit the talk button. "Hey, Big Guy. You're not calling to tell me than Ranger's already found out where I'm hiding and he's on his way here, are you?"

"No, Ranger doesn't have a clue. He was so distracted that he never noticed that I'm the one that put your trackers back into your apartment. He's kicking himself for not realizing that you left without him noticing." Tank laughs. "I convinced Ranger that we could find you faster if we split up to cover more ground, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to call you. Ranger even cancelled Lester's weekend off to help search for you, so he won't be able to bring you an overnight bag. I went ahead and told Lester and Bobby that you're at my place, but don't worry, they won't tell Ranger. Hal is watching your apartment in case you come back tonight. Whenever you're ready to go home let me know and I'll pull whoever watching your apartment off duty so that they won't call and report your return to Ranger."

"Lester's had to cancel his time off?" I asked. Now I feel bad I totally ruined Lester's weekend.

"He said that he didn't have anything important planned. As soon as I told him where you went, he decided to cancel his time off anyway. He wanted to stay at Rangeman and watch Ranger go out of his mind searching for you." Tank explained. "I called Ella and she's going to bring you some things that you might need. She just bought some stuff for you the other day, but hasn't got around to putting it in Ranger's closet. Luis is taking her to see a movie tonight, so they'll drop it off before the movie. I told her to call the house before she comes so that you'll know to expect her."

"First I ruin Lester's weekend off, and now I ruin Ella and Luis' date night." I sigh. "I feel bad for my drama ruining everybody's plans."

Tank laughed again. "Don't. Ella's feelings would be hurt if you didn't let her help you. You know that she thinks of you as the daughter that she never had." Tanks pauses for a moment. "So what do you think?"

"Of what?" I ask, confused.

"Of the house."

"Oh, I've only seen the outside and the kitchen, but what I have seen is beautiful." I tell him.

"Feel free to explore as much as you want. I don't have anything to hide."

"You're not afraid that I'll find your hidden stash of Playboy magazines." I laugh.

"You won't find anything like that in my house. You may want to be careful if you ever go over to Lester's. Even I'm afraid to open drawers at his house." Tank warns, causing me to giggle. "On a more serious note, I need to warn you that I have cameras that take pictures whenever someone enters or exits the house. I have it set up so that the camera will immediately send the picture to my phone. The camera in the garage sent a picture of you entering my house. That's how I knew to call you."

"So what you're telling me is not to answer the door in my underwear."

"Not unless you want Ranger to find out and kill me." He laughs. "There is a gun in the false bottom of my nightstand. I want you to carry with you at all times. My house is secure, but I don't want chances where your safety is concerned. DO NOT put that gun in my cookie jar. The cookie jar in my kitchen is filled with Ella's chocolate chip cookies, which she gave me yesterday."

"Thanks, Big Guy. I don't know what I would have done without your help today."

"Ranger's calling. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen." _Click_

One of these days I'm going to convince Ranger to let me train everyone at Rangeman in phone etiquette. They all need to learn the proper way to end a phone call.

Before I can explore Tank's house, I feel two fluffy cats leaning against my legs purring. One of the cats looks like a Calico and the other has longer fluffy gray hair. I bend over and pet both cats. Each one has a collar with a name tag shaped like a fish. The calico is named Callie and the grey one is named Smokey. I had forgotten that Tank is a cat lover.

Both of the cats followed me into the living room. The living room was filled with oversized leather furniture and a fireplace. A large flat screen television hung on one of the walls. There were two more cats lounging on the furniture. One was a beautiful black cat with short hair. I petted the black cat and looked at the name tag which said Midnight. The other cat was exactly like the fluffy gray cat, but with white hair named Snow. It's a good thing that I'm not allergic to cats like Lula.

Oh, no! Rex! I forgot all about him in my apartment. I must be the worse hamster mommy ever! I debated calling Tank and asking him to check on Rex, but if Ranger's close by he'll figure out where I am. I guess I'll have to wait until the next time Tank calls.

Once I was done exploring Tank's house and had the gun Tank told me about tuck into the small of my waist, I went to the kitchen in search of milk and cookies as a snack. I spent the rest of the afternoon watching Tank's big screen television in the living room while I waited on Ella and Luis to show up.

Ella and Luis called at 6:30 from Tank's driveway. I hit the button that opened the gate so that they could drive up to the house. I wait until Ella was almost to the door before I opened it.

"Hello, Dear." Ella said carrying a box. "Luis is getting your bag from the car. I brought you sausage fettuccini alfredo and garlic bread for dinner and a whole pineapple upside down cake for dessert."

"Oh, Ella! Thank you! You're a God send." I exclaim. "I'm sorry that my drama interrupted your plans for the evening."

"You didn't interrupt our plans. The movie doesn't start until nine. Luis and I have plenty of time to go to dinner and see the movie." She explains as Luis walks up carrying a duffle bag.

"It's about time you stood up to Carlos and that cop." Luis says giving me a quick hug. "I don't know why that nephew of ours refuses to tell you how he feels about you."

"Ranger has made it perfectly clear how he feels about me. He loves me but his love doesn't come with a ring, but a condom might come in handy." I say before realize it. "Oh! I'm so sorry . That was too much information. You probably didn't need or want to hear that."

"Is that what he told you, Dear? Don't believe it for a minute. I clean Carlos' apartment. I know more of his secrets than he realizes. Did you know that he keeps a picture of you by his bed every night? One time he forgot to put it away. Next time you're in his apartment on seven look in the bottom drawer of the nightstand on his side of the bed. Yes Dear, I know that you each have a side of the bed when you stay up on seven." Ella tells me.

"Really?" I asked in shock. "I didn't know Ranger had a picture of me."

"He has more than one. The one in is desk drawer of his home office has a picture of you in one of your distraction outfits." Ella continued. "While I'm thinking about it, Tank asked Hal to feed Rex and give him fresh water, in case you didn't come back to your apartment tonight."

Once Ella and Luis left, I ate the dinner she had brought for me. Then I decided to take my bag upstairs to one of Tank's guest bedroom, since I didn't feel right about staying in Tank's room. The guest room I chose had a bathroom attached to it with a Jacuzzi tub. I soaked in the tub allowing the Jacuzzi jets to work away the stress from the day.

Once I was thoroughly relaxed, I got out of the tub and put on the pajamas that Ella had packed for me. The bed was comfortable, but not as good as the one in Ranger's apartment. I fell asleep hoping that I would have a dream that would give me some guidance on dealing with Ranger and Joe.


	4. Chapter 4

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

Chapter 4

Ranger's POV

The next morning I woke up abruptly with a pounding headache and a dog licking my face. Why is there a dog in my apartment?

"Stand down!" I ordered causing Bob, Morelli's dog, to back away. My Babe loves this mutt. I, on the other hand, have decided that I'm more of a hamster person. I would never admit this out loud but I've grown quite fond of Babe's little rodent.

I look around and realize that I'm not in my seventh floor apartment. Instead, I'm on the couch in Morelli's living room. How did I end up here? I remember going to sleep in my bed on seven after spending most of the day and evening looking for my Babe. When I went to bed last night I put on those black silk boxers that my Babe loves so much, in case she showed up to my apartment while I was asleep. Now I'm wearing a t-shirt and jeans that look a lot like what Morelli was wearing yesterday. So help me God, if this is one of Lester and Bobby's pranks, they will be praying for me to send them to a third world country when I get done with them.

Bob starts scratching at the front door, wanting to be let out. I quietly open the door, letting him out into the front yard to do his business. I don't mind letting the dog out, but there's no way I'm cleaning up after that mutt.

While Bob 'took care of business', curiosity got the best of me. I decided to go upstairs while silently praying that I wouldn't find Babe with him in his bed. I might be the one with the strength, but my Babe is the one with the power. She is the only one with the power to crush my heart.

I quietly open the doors upstairs until I come to what must be Morelli's bedroom. The room is a pig sty. It doesn't look like Morelli's ever cleaned this room. The bed is unmade; clothes and pizza boxes are lying all over the floor. I know that I have Ella to clean my apartment, but I at least know how to clean up after myself. This place is disgusting! At least it doesn't look like Babe's been here is a while.

As I headed back downstairs, I wondered where Morelli is. It's possible that the Trenton P.D. called in during the night and left before Lester and Bobby had a chance to leave me here. I need to find a phone to call Rangeman for a ride. I would consider running back to Rangeman, but it looks like it might rain. Since I got out of the military I try run in the Rangeman gym if it looks like rain. There was also the matter that I had socks but no shoes.

After digging through piles of Pino's sub wrappers and beer bottles I finally found Morelli's cell phone on the coffee table. He must have forgotten to take it with him when he left the house. I looked at the screen and saw that he had twenty four missed calls. I couldn't resist looking to see who had called him so many times. There were ten calls from Terry Gilman (no surprise there), six from Robin Russell (Manny had told me he saw Morelli with Robin at a restaurant in Newark the other day and it looked like more than two friend having dinner together), four calls from someone named Tiffany (isn't that the waitress at Pino's), and the last four was from his mother. None of the calls were from Babe to my relief. I looked through the rest of Morelli's contacts. It looked more like a black book that a contact, including some had one astriek by their name and others had three of four. I used to have something similar, but I deleted it the day I met my Babe at the diner. No woman has ever held my interest after I met Babe.

I decided to call the main Rangeman line instead of Tank directly. Sometimes Tank helps Lester and Bobby with some of their pranks and I didn't want to take a chance that Tank might tip them off that I was on my way back to Rangeman.

"Rangeman, how may I direct your call?" I hear Junior ask.

"Junior, send someone over to Morelli's. I need a ride. Tank, Lester, and Bobby are not to know that I am on my way back." I order. I must be getting a cold because my voice sounds weird.

_Click._

I look at the phone in disbelief. No way is Junior dumb enough to hang up on me. He knows that I'll call him to the mats everyday for a month for insubordination. We must have been disconnected. I redial the Rangeman main number. If I found out that Lester and Bobby ordered him to hang up on me when I call, all three will be on latrine duty for the next month. Ella will love the help, I just hope they enjoy cleaning bathrooms with a toothbrush.

Junior answers again. "Rangeman, how may I direct your call?"

"We must have been disconnected. Send someone with a SUV over to Morelli's to…"

_Click._

Once is an accident, twice is intentional. I call back a third time. This is his last chance! If he does it again, I'll send him to search the sewers with Lester and Bobby, the next time one of our FTAs decides to hide underground in the Trenton Sewer System.

"Rangeman, how may I direct your call?" Junior answers for a third time.

"Soldier, DO NOT hang up on me! Send an SUV over to Morelli's immediately!" I growl.

"Listen Morelli, I know that it's you. Your name shows up on the caller i.d. every time you call. If you're looking for Bomber stop wasting your time. She's not here." Junior growls and then…._Click._

This is ridiculous! By the time Lester and Bobby have to be behind this. By the time I'm done with them, boot camp is going to look like a Sunday after walk in the park.

I'm still plotting all the ways I can get revenge when I hear the kitchen door open and shut, followed by the sound of heels walking across the kitchen floor.

"Joseph! It's your mother! I've been calling you all morning. Is your phone on silent? It must be because you're not answering my calls." I hear a lady, I assume Morelli's mother, call out from the kitchen.

This has to bad dream. There's no other explanation. I walk into the kitchen in time to see Morelli's mother sliding a covered dish into the refrigerator.

"I brought you lasagna to reheat for dinner tonight. I left a note with heating instructions on the fridge. Just follow the directions exactly like I've written. I let Bob in when I came in through the kitchen door. You should be ashamed of yourself, letting that dog use the front yard to relief himself. What would the neighbors say? Make sure that you clean it up before you leave the house." Morelli's mother rambles.

Now I realize that I'm a man of few words, but at the moment I'm completely speechless. If Morelli's mother would just stop talking for one minute she would realize that I am not her son.

"Joseph? Are you listening to me?" She said with her hands on her hips, looking me directly in the eye.

"Uh…?" I stammer. I never stammer.

"I said that I expect you for dinner tomorrow night. I invited Abigail Romano over for dinner. Her divorce was finalized last week. Abigail just moved back in with her parents. She comes from a good Catholic family and Abigail is 100% Italian, unlike that Plum girl that is only half. Well, as I was saying, Abigail has moved back in with her parents and is looking for a job. Maybe the two of you can begin dating. If it works out the two of you can get married and she could stay home and raise your babies. Then she wouldn't need a job. Now give your mother a kiss. I'm late to meet the new priest, Father Micheals." She says leaning up and kissing my cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow night for dinner."

Morelli's mom is just as bad as Babe's mom. I'm almost positive that Mrs. Morelli never took a breath the entire time she was in here.

I need to get out of here. I notice Morelli's truck keys on the kitchen countertop. I'll just 'borrow' Morelli's truck and dirve it back to Rangeman. I'm sure Junior won't mind returning the truck to Morelli's for me. Maybe that rain will be here in time for his run back to Rangeman.

I lock up Morelli's house and climb into his truck. I reach up to adjust the rearview mirror. I'm caught off guard by the reflection in the mirror. Instead of my reflection, I see Morell's.

This isn't possible. I must be dreaming. I look up at the mirror and once again see Morelli's reflection. I pinch myself just to make sure I'm not seeing things. Nope, I'm awake.

And if I'm in Morelli's body, then does that mean that Morelli is in mine? How could this happen? Diesel! Strange things always seem to happen every time Diesel shows up in Trenton. This definitely has Diesel's name written all over it. Unfortunately, I can't kill him, my Babe would never forgive me.


	5. Chapter 5

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

Chapter 5

Joe's POV

I woke up to the sound of a beeping alarm. The room was pitch black, so dark that I couldn't see anything but the glowing red numbers on the alarm clock on the night stand. I was feeling disoriented, not surprising since it was only 4:30 in the morning. I don't remember setting the alarm last night. I never set the alarm on my day off. I had called in yesterday so that I could use today to look for Cupcake. It's bad enough I had to waste most of my day yesterday driving all over Trenton looking for her, before picking up a case of beer and stopping by Pino's to pick up four meatballs subs. I decided to get two for Bob, one a sub for me, one for Cupcake in case she came to her senses and showed up at my house last night. She didn't show up and now I going have to waste a day of paid vacation to look for her. If she would just marry me, stay home, and take care of our future children, she would cause a lot less problems. I'll decide to deal with her later, so I turn over and go back to sleep.

When I woke up the second time I was still feeling disoriented. I sat up, allowing my eyes to focused and discovered why. This is not my bedroom. Wherever I am, it's obviously expensive. I could never afford this expensive furniture. There's nothing that really appears personal so I must have decided to stay in that new swanky hotel that just opened, since I don't know anyone that can afford a place like this. There's no telling how much this room is costing me. I'm going to need to work over time for a month or two to pay off this charge on my credit card. The room I'm in is sparsely decorated, mostly in blacks and grays. I look over at the nightstand and notice a picture of Cupcake next to the alarm clock. I don't remember having that picture, but I must since I apparently brought it with me to the hotel.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I woke up in a strange place, since I had way too much to drink last night. Sometimes when I drink too much I wake up in unexpected places. One time I woke up in my truck on Stark Street and on occasion I wake up in my truck in the parking lot of Cupcake's apartment building. There has also been more than a few occasions that I have woke up in Terry Gilman or Robin Russell's bed (but only when Cupcake and I are in an off again phase of our relationship).

I stand up and start looking for my clothes. All I'm wearing is a pair of black silk boxers, which I also don't remember owning. This is getting stranger by the minute. Not seeing my clothes anywhere, I decide to grab the black robe that is hanging to the door to the bathroom. I decide to look out into the hall just to check things out. When I open the door I discover that it leads to a living room. I must have rented a suite. It may take more overtime that I first thought. Too bad Cupcake isn't here to enjoy this. She would absolutely love this place. I would probably never convince her to leave.

I walk into the living room, which is decorated similar to the bedroom. It's your standard fancy hotel room with nothing with fancy black leather couches, an expensive looking coffee table, and a huge television. I would have to cut of eating Pino's for two years to afford this television.

I was about to turn of the television when I heard a knock on the door to the suite.

"Good morning. I brought your breakfast. The guys wanted me to check on you since you didn't show up at the gym this morning." A Hispanic woman who appeared to be in her fifties said.

Guys? I didn't have plans to meet Carl and Big Dog at the gym this morning.

"Uh…you said that you brought breakfast?" I asked. I tried clearing my throat since my voice sounded deeper that usual.

"Yes, I brought the usual since you didn't call and request anything special. There's smoked salmon, a toasted bagel and lox." She said as she lifted a silver plate cover revealing breakfast.

Salmon? For breakfast? "Uh…no offense, but I can't eat that."

"I'm sorry, Dear. Are you not feeling well? I could make you something else. You know I don't mind." She offered.

"I'm feeling okay. Would it be too much trouble to get some blueberry pancakes, sausage, and some scrambled eggs with cheese?"

"Are you sure that you're feeling well? You never ask me to make those things unless Stephanie is here. Are you expecting her to join you this morning?"

"Uh…you never know." I shrug. How would Cupcake know that I had spent the night in a hotel? And how does this lady know Cupcake?

"Alright, I'll be back in a little while with your breakfast." She said giving me a strange look. "And you're positive you're feeling okay? You're not acting like yourself."

"I'm great." I assure her, not that it's any of her business.

"If you say so." She said slowly as she turned and walked out of the hotel suite.

I decided to take a quick shower while I waited on my breakfast to arrive. I walked through the bedroom and into the bathroom. The bathroom was the size of Cupcake's whole apartment. The bathroom even had a separate room for the toilet. I was immediately drawn to the shower. Man, I wish I had this shower at home. It has three shower heads, one that is overhead and two that are on each side of the shower walls. The only downside of the shower was that the shower gel was that same stuff that Cupcake loves that Manoso wears. As much as I hate it looks like I'm going to have to smell like Manoso all day. I turned on the shower to allow the water to heat up. It didn't take long to the water to heat and the mirrors to be completely fogged over.

I spent almost twenty minutes in the shower. I spent most of that time enjoying the feel of the warm water with my eyes closed. I only got out because I was sure that my breakfast would be dropped off at any time now. I needed to ask that lady if there was a shop in the lobby where I could buy a razor and a toothbrush. I decide to put the black boxers and robe back on since I didn't have anything else to wear.

Lucky for me, she had let herself back in and was setting breakfast out on the dining room table when I walked back into the main room.

"Is there a place nearby that I could get a new toothbrush, some toothpaste, and a razor so I can shave?" I asked.

"I replaced all three yesterday in your bathroom. It's all in the top draw like usual." She replies giving me another strange look. "Do you need me to pick up anything else for you?"

"Um….I can't seem to find my clothes."

"Did you try your closet?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh…no. I guess I should have looked in there, huh?" I said with a uncomfortable laugh.

"If you don't see something in particular that you want, call me and I'll check the laundry." She offered. Why does this lady keep looking at me like I've lost my mind? It's not like I've ever stayed in this hotel before.

"Alright then." She smiled. "The boys said to tell you that they went ahead and had the morning meeting without you. They assumed that you were not feeling well when you didn't show up this morning. You can check in with the boys of five when you feel like it."

Meeting? Did I have a meeting this morning? Surely someone would have reminded me last night when I called the station and told them I was taking today off.

"I know that you don't like to admit it when you're sick, but your mother would skin me alive if I didn't take care of her baby boy while he was sick." She adds.

"You know my mother?" I ask incredulously.

"Only my entire life." She said placing her hand on her hips. "You seem really out of sorts today. I know you're worried about Stephanie, but I think you need to go back to bed for a while. I'll send someone up to check on you later." She said before walking out of the suite.

Who does this lady think she is? My mother? I'm getting out of here as soon as I brush my teeth and shave.

I walked into the bathroom and opened the top drawer of the vanity sink. A tooth brush, tooth paste, razor and shaving cream were sitting in the top drawer just like she said. I sprayed the shaving cream into my hand and worked it into a lather, before looking up into the mirror.

"Argh!" I screamed, taking a few steps backwards. That's not my face, its Manoso's. I looked down at my hands and finally notice that my skin is much darker than usual. I looked back in the mirror where Manoso's face was still staring back at me. This has to be some sort of trick. I decided to test that theory by waving my hand. Manoso reflection moves in sync with my body movements. I try making a funny face, which Manoso's reflection does at the same time. I even try walking out of the sight of the mirror and back into view. Manoso's reflection is still in sync with me.

This isn't possible! This is some sort of bad dream. Maybe that lady is right. I should go back to bed. I can fall asleep and when I wake up everything will be back to normal.

I run back to the big bed, climb in, and throw the covers over my head. I'm going to sleep and when I wake up this would have all been a dream. Unfortunately, I so freaked out, I can't go back to sleep. When the cell phone next to the bed begins ringing, I about jump out of my skin.

"Hello?" I answer shakily.

"Sir, Morelli has been causing problems all morning. He called her countless times looking for Bomber and now he's in the lobby, demanding to see you immediately. He's refusing to leave. Do you want me to have him escort of the premises or escort to one of the conference rooms?" The voice asks.

"Who is this?" I ask.

"Uh…it's Junior, Sir. You assigned me to man the front lobby this week."

If I'm in Manoso's body, then he must be in mine. Oh God, Manoso is going to kill me. I would never admit this in front of anyone, but he kind of scares me sometimes.

"Send him up to me on the condition that he understands it's not my fault and he promises not to kill me." I tell him.

"Sir, if you think he might try to kill you maybe we should send him to one of the conference rooms on the second floor with armed guards. Its protocol when dealing with Morelli that he is never allowed in your apartment on seven."

Manoso has policies on dealing with me. Why am I not surprised? He would do anything to keep Cupcake away from me.

"I don't care about what the normal protocol is. Just send him up to me, but not until he promises not to kill me." I said before hanging up.

Maybe I should look for a gun to protect myself.


	6. Chapter 6

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews! I read each and every one of them.

Chapter 6

Ranger's POV

This is freaking unbelievable. I'm being escorted to my own apartment by two of my own men. Of course they think that I'm Morelli. Its protocol that anyone that is not an employee has an escort at all times while they are in the building. It was one of the first rules I put into place when I purchased the building. When it comes to owning a security company every possible precaution needs to be taken to protect our client's information. I have a special rule that applies to Morelli. When Morelli is in the building there are to be two escorts at all times. It's actually more for the intimidation factor than a necessity. That rule is why I am currently riding in the elevator with Cal and Hector. Other than my Core team, Cal and Hector are two of the most intimidating employees I have in the Trenton office. I know I made the right decision in hiring each of team because the looks they are giving me are making me uncomfortable.

Cal is one of my biggest employees standing over six feet tall, solid muscle, has his head shave bald to show off his flaming skull tattoo. Cal like most of my men is former military, serving in the Navy as a SEAL. He's never revealed the story behind the tattoo. All I know is that he didn't have when he left the Navy, but a few months later when I hired him to work for Rangeman the tattoo was on his forehead. I know my Babe is dying to find out the story about the tattoo. To be honest everyone that works here wants to know the story, but we refuse to sit around sharing stories and feeling like girls at a slumber party. But if anyone can get the story behind the tattoo out of Cal, it's my Babe.

Hector, on the other hand, is one of my smallest employees. Hector is a couple of inches shorter than Babe. People often underestimate Hector do to his size but the man is lethal. Hector is a former gang member with two teardrops tattoos that are a testament of his former life. I offered Hector a job after he decide to leave his gang. Not only is Hector dangerous, but he is also a electronic genius. Hector calls Babe his Angel, and although she would never ask, he would kill for my Babe in a heartbeat. A feeling that I can definitely identify with.

Cal and Hector stayed with me until the door to my apartment opened. Morelli was standing in the doorway wearing my clothes. We stood there glaring at each other until Cal and Hector disappeared behind the elevator doors.

"Not fun being on the other end of armed escorts, is it?" Morelli smirked.

"Morelli." I growled.

Morelli stepped back, and waved me into the apartment. MY apartment.

"Have you ever cleaned your house? Your living room looks like you threw a frat party. And how do you sleep in that pigsty you call a bedroom?" I asked

Morelli shrugged. "I don't clean unless I think that Cupcake is coming over. When it gets too bad my Mom and Grandmother will come over and clean it."

No wonder he wants Babe to marry him. Morelli doesn't want a wife. He wants a maid.

"You're wearing my clothes." I growl. Morelli is standing in MY living room, wearing MY Rangeman uniform.

"Yeah, sorry about using your clothes. I couldn't find any of my clothes so I put on the first thing I found when that guy downstairs called to say that you were here. Do you own anything that isn't black? Why are there ladies clothes in your closet? I'd ask you if you were a secret cross-dresser, but the clothes are too small for you to fit in." Morelli laughed.

"What color of clothes is in my closet is really none of your business. The women's clothes belong to Stephanie. You know she works for me on occasion. Sometimes she needs to change her clothes after she uses the Rangeman gym. We don't have a ladies locker room, so she uses my shower and closet." I shrug. "Right now we have bigger problems than Stephanie's clothes in my closet."

Joe sighed. "You're right. Any idea of how this could have happened? I thought I was dreaming, but it's obviously not a dream. I don't think the odds of us having the same dream are very likely."

"Diesel. I'm not sure how, but there is no doubt in my mind that Diesel is the one responsible for this." I tell him.

"That weird guy that showed up a Cupcake's apartment? I was kind of surprised to see him yesterday. Normally he only shows up around holidays. I'm not sure how he could be involved in this." Morelli runs his face over his face. "Okay, so how can we get a hold of him so he can change us back."

"Honestly, I don't know. I'm hoping that Babe will know how to get in touch with him. In the meantime, if we are going to have to trade lives for a while we should probably set some ground rules." I suggest.

"Ground rules?" Morelli asked. "What kind of ground rules?"

"We both have reputations to protect. And we should set some rules involving Babe."

"I would hate for you to get me fired. I actually like my job." Morelli reasoned. "I'm not sure that I can trust you to do things by the book."

"And I have a company that needs to be taken care of. Morelli, I know you're a good cop, but you don't know anything about running a security business. I'll promise that if I have to work an investigation, that I will run it by the book, if you promise that any business decisions that need to be made you will defer to Tank." I tell him. "And do not go out to pick up FTAs."

"Come on, Manoso." Morelli glares. "I can pick up a stupid FTA. I am a police detective."

"I realize that, Morelli, but the skips we go after are dangerous and I would rather not take a chance of you getting killed and me not getting my body back. I'm not asking you to do anything that I'm not willing to do myself. I'll make sure that I don't take any chances that could risk you not getting your body back either. I'm sure you're as ready for this to be over as I am."

"I see your point. Alright, I'll agree to not go after any FTAs." Morelli agreed.

"Not that anyone would believe us, but we also can't let anyone know that we switched bodies. They would think that we lost our minds. You could lose your badge and it could ruin my company." I add.

"You're right. I'm living it and I still don't believe it." Morellie said. "Okay, next rule: You can't sleep with Cupcake while you're in my body. I know that you've been wanting to, but it would be wrong for you to sleep with her when she thinks it's me."

"That rules goes both ways, Morelli. You can't sleep with Babe while you're in my body."

"That shouldn't be a probably since you and Babe have never slept together before." Morelli said as he sat down on the couch in my living room, looking smug."

I take the seat in a chair across from Morelli and grin. Counting down the seconds until he realizes what he just agreed to. 5….4….3….2….1

"YOU SLEPT WITH MY CUPCAKE!" Morelli yells.

"Cool your jets, Morelli. It only happened during off phases of your relationship." I explain.

"Did you say phases?" Morelli yelled. "YOU MEAN IT HAPPENED MORE THAN ONCE!"

Babe, I hope that when you find out I told Morelli about us that you can forgive me.

"Do I need to remind you about Terry Gilman AND Robin Russell? Does Babe know that your contact list reads like a little black book?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

"How do you know what's in my phone contact list?" Morelli says as he continues to let his Italian temper show.

I hold up his phone which shuts him up. "Okay, next rule: We have to keep up the appearance that nothing unusual is going. You're going to need to try to control that temper of yours, at least when you're with people. If you want to lose your temper in private, that's your business. But if you destroy anything of mine, you will pay for it. If you need to punch or kick something, the gym is downstairs. That brings me to another point. When I'm in the gym, I make a point to not speak to anyone unless it's absolutely necessary. Babe is my only exception to that rule."

"Alright, I can to that." Morelli nods his head. "Speaking of keeping up appearances, my mother will expect you to come over to dinner at some point this week. She'll know something's wrong if you don't show up and will hound me, I mean you, until you're miserable."

There goes me getting out of dinner tomorrow night.

"That's should cover just about everything. If you are unsure about something, call me on your cell phone and I'll do the same." I say standing up to leave. I've already stayed longer than I planned to. I really need to be looking for Babe.

"What if you get called on a mission?" Morelli asked.

"I haven't told anyone yet, but I'm done with missions. The government will only call me now to do special training for new teams." I explain.

"Thank God. I really don't want to be sent to a third world country." Morelli said, relieved. "One more thing, as much as I would like to make you look bad in front of Stephanie, I don't want you to make me look bad either. In other words, you don't tell her about all the girls phone numbers in my phone." Morelli pleads.

"I won't tell her." I agree, but I can't help it if I lay Morelli's phone down and she discovers it on her own.

"Well, I guess that means that we're living each other's lives until we can figure out how to switch back or we can find Diesel." Morelli says. "Man, this is weird."

"Not exactly how I planned to spend my day." I agree. "You better call down to the control room."

"Why?"

"Because my men will know something's wrong if you don't call for Cal and Hector to escort me back down to the lobby."

"Oh, right." Morelli grabbed the phone off of the end table. "How do I call the control room? Heck, where is the control room. Until today you've never let me about the second floor conference rooms."

I can't stop from giving Morelli an eye roll that would make my Babe proud. It's only a matter of time before Morelli screws this up.


	7. Chapter 7

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

Chapter 7

Joe's POV

If Manoso thinks that I'm not going to do everything in my power to make him look bad in front of Cupcake, well he's just plain stupid. I need to use this body switching thing to my advantage. I'm sure I can find out something that will scare Cupcake away from him forever. The first thing I need to do is find his office and go through his files.

I remember Cupcake telling me that when she works at Rangeman that her cubicle is on the fifth floor, so I decide to start there. Since I've never been passed the second floor, I wasn't sure what to expect. I always assumed that it was set up similar to the Trenton P.D. with really old metal furniture and chair that looked like they were about to fall apart. I certainly wasn't expecting something that looked like it was a cross between a high class corporate office and the Starship Enterprise.

I found it strange that no one that everyone was concentrating so hard on their work that only a few people glanced at me and nodded my direction. Each morning when I enter the station, I'm greeted with a chorus of 'Good Mornings'. I'm usually stopped on the way to my office at least a half dozen times with people filling me in on the latest gossip.

On my left were a bunch of monitors that looked like were used to monitor accounts. I've never understood why someone would hire a couple full of Thugs to protect their home and businesses. Two of Ranger's men were watching the monitors. They were probably just checking to see if anyone had anything worth stealing in the homes and businesses that they were supposed to be protecting.

Directly in front of were rows and rows of cubicles. I need to remember to try to find Cupcake's cubicle. In case I need to plant evidence of any illegal activities that Manoso is involved in.

To my right was a hallway that led to what were probably private offices. I decided to go that way first. When I reached the first door, I looked for a name plate. Not finding one, I took a chance and opened the door. Bingo! This office was unbelievable. My office at the station is in a room so small that my desk barely fits in it. The furniture is large and expensive. There's even room for a couch and coffee table.

I decide to start with the computer on the desk, but couldn't get into the computer because it was password protected. I decided that the next best thing to the computer was the file cabinet located behind the desk. There had to be something in there that I could use to turn Cupcake against Manoso. I had just opened the top cabinet drawer when I heard someone clear his throat.

"Need help finding anything?" Tank asked.

"No, I'm fine." I answered.

"You're obviously looking for something. Just tell me what it is I can find it quicker than you can." He said crossing his arms in front of his chest and leaning against the door frame.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because it's my file cabinet." Tank laughed. I didn't know that any of Manoso's employees knew how to laugh. They're always walking around with that blank face painted on. The only emotions I've witnessed from a Rangeman employee is calm and pissed off.

"No, I found it!" I said a little too loud, grabbing the first file I could.

"You need my power of attorney?" Tank asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh…no. I just wanted to make sure it was still here." I said, shoving the file back into the cabinet and closing the drawer.

"Are you feeling okay, Rangeman?" He asked.

"Great. I'm great! I'll just head to my office." I said attempting to walk passed Tank. He had to step out of the way since both of us couldn't fit in the door way at the same time. I was hoping that he wouldn't follow me, but no such luck.

"You sure about that?" He asked as I reached the next office.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Just headed into my office. Why is something wrong?" I asked. Maybe he can tell that I'm not Manoso.

"Yeah, there is. You're going into Lester's office, instead of yours. Maybe you should go back up to seven and rest up for tomorrow morning." Tank suggested.

"Why what's going on tomorrow morning?" I asked.

"You're being called to the mats at 0500 tomorrow." He told me.

"The mats? What are we doing yoga or something?" I never picture Ranger or his men as the yoga types.

"You're kidding, right? Listen Ranger, you're like a brother to me, but I got to warn you. Everyone here loves Bomber like a little sister and we're tired of you and Morelli upsetting her all the time. There's not much we can do about Morelli's part in this, but you're a different story. You need to rest up for tomorrow because everyone that is scheduled to work tomorrow is calling you to the mats. It's going to be a long day, starting with me." Tank said as he turned around and walked back to his office.

I still wasn't sure what 'being called to the mats' was all about but I knew that when tomorrow came around that I was in for trouble.

I finally found Manoso's office was the next office I came to. I knew it was the right place because of the Batman paper weight that was on the desk. I've heard Connie and Lula call Manoso Batman on numerous occasions. I decided to start with the file cabinet, but I never could find anything incriminating. I decided to look through the desk to see if I could find a password written anywhere so I could get into Manoso's computer. I've learned over the years that people can never remember their passwords so they tend to write them down within reaching distance of the keyboard. I opened the desk drawer and found that it was completely dedicated to my Cupcake. There was a file that listed every skip she ever picked up, starting with me. Another file was dedicated to all of her stalkers, including their current whereabouts. What surprised me the most were the two framed photographs. One was of Cupcake smiling at the camera. The other was of Manoso kissing her in what looked like the alley next to the Bond's office. I had heard rumors about people that claimed to see them kissing in the alley, but I never wanted to believe it. I guess I shouldn't be surprised after talking to Manoso earlier. The last thing in the desk drawer was a velvet jewelry box. It looked old. I opened the box and found a necklace with a pendant shaped like Angel wings.

"When are you going to man up and give that to Beautiful, cuz?" I looked up to see Lester standing in the doorway.

"Huh?" I asked. Did he just call me 'cuz'? I didn't know that he was related to Manoso.

"I asked when are you going to man up and give Abuela Rosa's necklace to Beautiful?" He asked again.

I knew it! Manoso has another woman! I need to see if I can get Lester to slip up and say her other woman's name. Introducing Cupcake to Manoso's other woman would be the only way she would believe me.

"Which Beautiful are you referring to?" I asked.

Lester gives me a strange look as he unclips his cell phone from his utility belt. "Bobby, come up to five. There's something wrong with Ranger. I think he has a concussion or something." Once he hung up the phone he walked over and sat in one of the chairs away from Manoso's desk. "You and I both know that there has been only one Beautiful. Heck man, once you met Steph, you became a hermit. I know that you think that you've been hiding you feeling, but there's not a person in this building, with the exception of when Steph is here, that doesn't know that you're in love with her."

"Joe is in love with her. She needs to give up on this bounty hunting nonsense, settle down, get married, and have some kids. It's not like she's really cut out for this job anyway." I argue, completely forgetting that I'm supposed to be acting like Ranger instead of myself.

"Man, what's gotten into you! Morelli doesn't love her. He loves the idea of what he wants her to be. She deserves better than that. Beautiful doesn't want to give up her job, settle down, get married and have kids. At least she doesn't want that with Morelli." Lester argued. "She would have already married him if she wanted that kind of life with him."

"Lester's right." A guy said walking into the office, carrying a medical bag and setting it on Manoso's desk. I think Cupcake once told me his name is Bobby. "And as far as 'not being cut out for her job', do you realize that you just sounded like Morelli. He's always saying that kind of crap to her. If it wasn't for Bomber, Morelli would be sitting in a prison cell right now if it wasn't for Bomber. And I know I don't need to remind you that she helped clear your name during the Ramos situation or how she helped you when Julie was kidnapped. Now shut up before you say something else stupid and let me examine you."

I rolled the desk chair back so that Bobby could shine his penlight in my eyes.

"You don't have a concussion, but there's definitely something wrong with you. You never let me examine you without an argument." He said turning the penlight off and putting it in his shirt pocket. "Maybe it's the stress of not knowing where Bomber is, which you and Morelli deserve by the way for acting like you did at the scene and her apartment."

I finally gave up trying to find anything on Manoso in the office. I decided that I need to search his apartment. Maybe I could find something there. The entire time I was upstairs, Manoso's phone kept ringing. Someone either had a question about an account or to see if I wanted to with them to pick up a FTA. It was real hard to turn down the skip that was spotted going into the strip club, but I really wanted to find some dirt on Manoso.

I finally gave up at ten minutes to six and decided to drive around Trenton to see if I could find Cupcake. I have to admit that I enjoyed driving Ranger's Porsche Turbo. I finally gave up and picked up a pizza from Pino's to take back to Ranger's apartment. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to eat it. When I got back to Rangeman, Tank met me in the garage and dragged me to a jewelry store that someone had attempted to break into and a scene of an attempted residential burglary. I hate to admit it, but the security features that Rangeman had installed at both locations kept both attempts from being successful.

When we got home it was four in the morning, and I think Tank took pleasure in reminding me that I had an appointment on the mats in an hour. I hope that I can find the gym.


	8. Chapter 8

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

Chapter 8

Ranger's POV

I never realized just how much of a nightmare Morelli's life is. After I left Rangeman yesterday, I spent the rest of the day looking for my Babe and avoiding Terry Gilman. That mob princess is downright crazy. She practical stalked me all day. Normally I would have put a stop to it, but I keep driving around Trenton looking for Babe and calling her on Morelli's cell phone. Everywhere I went, she followed. I lost count of the number of phone calls she made to Morelli's phone. I refused to answer, since I was more concerned with finding my Babe.I would have turned the phone off, but I was hoping that Babe would call me back. Terry even followed me around in the grocery store I stopped by on my way back to Morelli's house. I ignored her as she followed me down each and every aisle.

That evening when I pulled in Morelli's driveway, I couldn't avoid her any longer. Terry walked up behind me as I climbed out of Morelli's truck.

"Hey, Stallion. Why haven't you been answering my calls?" She asked, attempting to press up against me. I quickly moved out of her reach.

"Busy." I replied.

"No, you haven't. All you did all day was drive around Trenton. You started off at Rangeman, drove by the Bond's office, Pino's, the Plum's and finally the grocery store. Don't tell me you're trying to get back with Stephanie again." She said making another attempt to press herself up against me.

Instead of answering, I took another step away from Terry, this time folding my arms across my chest and raising my eyebrow.

"What's the matter with you, Joe?" Terry snaps, stomping her foot like a five year old that lost her favorite toy. "Everyone knows that she doesn't love you. She's in love with Ranger. And all of Trenton knows that he's in love with her. You can't stay in denial about this. They belong together, just like we belong together!"

Everyone is Trenton knows that I'm in love with Babe. I've worked hard to keep my emotions hidden, especially in public. I guess all those trips to the alley with Babe didn't go unnoticed like I had hoped. I should have taken the time to go deeper into the alley. I was always in such a hurry to kiss her, to touch her. Way to be aware of your surroundings, Manoso.

"Can we do this later?" I request. Joe can deal with her after we switch our bodies back.

"Fine, but if you go back to her again, we're done. I mean it this time. The next time you and Plum break up, don't call me to pick up the pieces." Terry said, storming back to her car.

Well, at least she's gone. I reached back into the truck, grabbed the bags of groceries headed into Morelli's house.

I went into the kitchen and turned on the oven so it could preheat while I put away the groceries. There's one advantage to being trapped in Morelli's body. I've always told Babe that I am an opportunist and I was taking this opportunity to eat all the food I normally avoid. I really bought too much junk food, but I couldn't resist. I bought three pints of ice cream, bags of chips, countless candy bars, a half a dozen cupcakes, and a chocolate pie. Once I slide the lasagna into the oven, I couldn't resist going back to the freezer for a pint of chocolate chip ice cream. It took a couple of minutes to find a spoon, but when I did, I ripped off the lid of the ice cream, took a bite, and moaned. I haven't had ice cream in years. By the time the lasagna was done the ice cream was gone.

The next morning I regretted eating the entire lasagna, and all of that junk food. I spent most of the mornign resting my head on Morelli's bathroom floor trying to recover from my food binge, when Morelli's cell phone rang for the third time this morning. It was Terry so I hit ignore. Morelli's mom had already called twice this morning . The first time was to remind me that I was expected at dinner tonight. The second time she called she told me to go by the store and bring wine to dinner tonight. I had tried to explain to Mrs. Morelli that I was sick, but she wouldn't listen. She just said to take some Maalox and to be at her house by six. To be honest, if this is what Morelli put up with on a daily basis, I feel bad for him. I actually think his mother is as bad as Babe's mom.

So at 1730 hours, I was standing in a store trying to pick out a couple of bottles of wine for dinner when Morelli's phone rang again.

"Yo." I answered.

"Really Joseph, what's gotten into you? Since when do you answer the phone with 'yo'? You sound like a thug. What would the neighbors think if they heard you answer the phone that way?" Morelli's mother ranted.

Maybe I could shoot myself in the arm and get out of dinner tonight. "Do you need something?" I asked.

"Don't forget to bring flowers for Abigail. And don't forget dinner is at six. Don't be late. It's -bye, Dear." She said before hanging up on me.

If that lady thinks that I'm going to bring flowers to a woman that I don't even know, she's crazy. I only send flowers to two women in my life. I always make a point to send flowers to my mother on Mother's Day and my Babe. I don't send flowers to Babe very often, but I plan on changing that as soon as I find Diesel and make him change us back.

I arrived at Mrs. Morelli's right at 1800 hours . When I climbed out of the truck Morell's Grandma Bella was waiting for me on the front porch. Babe has told me countless stories about Morelli's grandmother. The lady goes all over the 'Burg threatening to put 'the eye' on anyone that doesn't bend to her will. That reminds me, I need to send her a gift basket for the whole 'vordo' incident. Not that I really believe that Grandma Bella put an actually curse on my Babe. I that all that 'curse' did was give Babe the excuse she needed to give herself permission to sleep with me without feeling guilty about it later. Real or not, Morelli's grandmother deserved a thank you gift.

"My little Joseph!" Bella said, wrapping her arms around me. I had to smile at the thought that my Babe is willing to tackle at FTA that is twice her size, but she's terrified on this tiny elderly woman.

"Let me look at you, Joseph." Bella ordered, bringing my head down far enough that she could look me directly in my eyes. She used her frail hands to move my head side to side, before looking at me directly in the eyes a second time. "This is not right. Something is different. Did that gypsy girl put a spell on you? Tell me Joseph, if she did, I will give her 'the eye'. I will make her barren and cause her hair to fall out. She cannot us gypsy magic my favorite grandson, unless she suffers the consequences."

I could feel a lump forming in my throat. Babe's right. Morelli's grandmother is nuts. I thought my Babe came from a scary gene pool, but her family has nothing on Morelli's family.

"Gypsy girl?" I ask. I'm almost positive that Bella is referring to the fact that Babe is half Hungarian.

"Yes, that Bounty Hunting Bimbo that tricks you into living in sin with her on occasion. She is not a proper match for you, my Joseph. She is only half Italian. She is not good enough to marry a Morelli man."

I was about to inform her that Stephanie Plum was too good to marry a Morelli when I heard Morelli's mother say, "Joseph and that Plum girl are no longer together, Grandma Bella. Now behave yourself tonight. If you start talking about visions and curses during dinner, you scare of Abigail. She may be out only hope for Joseph to settle down and raise a good Italian family. He's not getting any younger."

"Fine…Fine. I will behave myself." Grandma Bella said as she walked passed Mrs. Morelli , into the house.

Unfortunately, Grandma Bella going into the house meant that Mrs. Morelli's attention was entirely on me. "Young man, where are the flowers that I told you to bring for Abigail?" Well, at least you remembered to bring the wine. Come on in the house, were having pot roast, mashed potatoes with gravy, and brown sugar glazed carrots. I put extra brown sugar in the carrots just how you like it. What are you standing there for, come in. I'd hate for the pot roast to be dry because you were standing out on the porch.

I can't believe that I'm doing this. I should have called Tank and asked him to shoot me. He can't stand Morelli any more that I can. He would have been more than happy to shoot me in the arm or leg. All it would take is a flesh wound to get me out of coming to dinner. Morelli could have time off from work to heal. It would have been a win/win situation for everybody.

I followed Mrs. Morelli into the dining room, where there was a woman in ther early thirties already sitting at the table.

"Joseph, you remember Abigail Romano. Why don't you take the seat next to Abigail? Your grandmother and I will bring dinner in from the kitchen.

Abigail was a petit girl, much shorter than my Babe. She had straight blond hair and green eyes. She was pretty in a plain sort of way, but she couldn't hold a candle next to my Babe.

"I go by Abby now." She said standing up and shaking my hand. Then she leaned over and whispered, "No offense, but I've already heard all about you. You seem like a nice enough guy, but I'm just not interested. I'm only here because my mother made me."

"No offense taken. I'm only here out of obligation." I said glancing towards the kitchen door.

"Thank God." Abby smiled. "I was worried that this would be awkward. I have a friend that's supposed to call me with a fake emergency. I was concern that your feelings would hurt if I just got up to leave."

"I should have thought of that. I'm afraid that I may be stuck her for the duration."

"Do you want to give me your number? I could call you after I leave. You could say it was an emergency at work." She offered.

"I owe you one." I said, giving her pulling Morelli's business card out of his wallet and handing it to Abby.

"You can pay me back by letting me know if you hear of any good jobs in Trenton. I don't know how long I can survive at my parent's house. So far the only job I can find is a waitress on the graveyard shift at a truck stop." Abby said rolling her eyes. "I'm almost desperate enough to take it."

"I might know of something. I'll get back with you." I have been meaning to hire someone to work the first floor reception desk at Rangeman. I need my men working out in the field, not sitting behind the desk answering the phone. I know better than to offer the job to Babe. It would be too boring to hold her interest. I need to ask Babe if she thinks Abby would be good for the job. I'm sure she know Abby from growing up in the 'Burg.

"Oh look, Grandma Bella! Our Joseph and Abigail have already hit it off. He gave her his business card. This is wonderful!" Mrs. Morelli exclaimed as she carried the pot roast into the dining room.

Less than ten minutes into dinner, Abby phone began to ring. She excused herself to the living room and came back a few minutes later.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Morelli. My friend Jenna was in an accident. She needs me to give her a ride home from the hospital." Abby fibbed.

"I'm sorry about your friend, Dear. I'm sure my Joseph understands, don't you Joseph?" Mrs. Morelli said. I had to concentrate to keep form laughing. Mrs. Morelli continued, "Your friend will probably be hungry after going through such an ordeal. Let me wrap up leftovers to send with you. Joseph, I'm sure that Abigail is upset about her friend's accident. Why don't you drive her to the hospital and help her take her friend home.

I nodded in agreement. There was no way I was passing on an opportunity to get out of this house. Morelli is going to owe me for suffering through tonight.


	9. Chapter 9

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun. Possible spoilers to Wicked Appetite.

Chapter 9

Steph's POV

I spent the weekend at Tank's house almost entirely stress free, well almost entirely stress free. I still needed to decide what I was going to do with Ranger and Joe's behavior. I had turned off my phone for the weekend to avoid calls from Ranger, Joe, and my mother. Part of me wanted to stay hidden at Tank's a few more days, but by Sunday night I was about to go crazy with loneliness. Tank, Lester, Bobby, and Ella had all called to check on me over the weekend to see if I needed anything or just to talk, but it just wasn't the same. So Sunday afternoon I packed the duffle that Ella and Luis had dropped off on Friday, called Tank so he could pull whichever Merry Man was assigned to watch my apartment, and head back to my apartment. If I was lucky, I could make it to the Tasty Pastry before they closed. Someone always forgets to pick up a special order cake on Sundays. If I show up right before they close I can buy a cake at a huge discount. It pays to be a former employee and one of the Tasty Pastry's best customers.

I made to the Tasty Pastry with one minute to spare. I purchased a cake that looked like a large opened engagement ring box in Tiffany blue. The oversized ring band was made out of rice krispie treats covered in rolled fondant. A cupcake covered in white icing and edible glitter was used as the diamond. The cake was complete with a note that read 'Will you marry me, Linda?" Apparently the man that ordered the cake found Linda in bed with his best friend Saturday night. By the time he called to cancel the cake on Sunday, it was too late.

I was surprised to see Diesel leaning against Big Blue when I walked out of the bakery.

"Hello, Sunshine." Diesel grinned.

"Hey Diesel. What are you doing in Trenton?" I asked. "Let me guess….you need me to help you save the world."

"Not today. I have someone else that helps me with that. I was due for a couple of days of vacation, so I thought I would come to Trenton to visit one of my favorite girls." He said taking the cake box from me and walking over to the passenger side of the car and climbing in.

"One of your favorite girls, huh?" I asked attempting to raise one eyebrow, but raising both instead.

"You're definitely in my top two." He said lifting the cake box lid. "Who proposes with a cake?"

"A guy that didn't realize that his girlfriend has been cheating on him until the night before he planned on proposing." I explained.

"His loss is our gain." Diesel shrugs, taking the cupcake diamond and popping it into his mouth.

"Stop eating my cake!"

"Hey, I'm doing you a favor. A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips." Diesel grins "Lizzy's cupcakes are much better."

"Are you calling me fat? Because if you are, I can button my jeans just fine, thank you very much! Secondly, you can talk bad about me, but never talk bad about a cake from the Tasty Pastry!" Then I grin, "Thirdly, Is Lizzy the other on of your top two?"

"I plead the fifth." Diesel said closing the cake box lid.

When we reached my parking lot, Diesel insisted on carrying my duffle bag and the cake box up to my apartment. Diesel made no attempt to convince me to take the stairs, instead waiting patiently for the elevator with me. When the elevator door opened, Mrs. Bestler was missing.

"Where's the elevator lady?" Diesel asked.

"Mrs. Bestler usually eats dinner between five and six in the evening. She's probably in her apartment. She'll be back by six."

I cautiously opened the door to my apartment. I didn't want to have to deal with Joe if he was in my apartment. I knew Ranger wasn't here since I didn't feel that tingle on the back of my neck that I get every time he's near. My radar only works on Ranger, not Joe.

"They're not here." Diesel said walking in and setting the cake box on the coffee table.

"How do you know?" I whispered, glaring at Diesel. "Joe could be hiding out in my bedroom."

"I was here earlier. I've already deleted the messages from your mother. They were all pretty much the same anyway."

"Let me guess….'Mrs. Simmons' daughter, Tiffany, doesn't have cars that blow up or goes missing for an entire weekend." I sighed.

"See, nothing you haven't heard before. The rest are still there. There are a few from Connie, Lula, and your grandmother and one from your dad. The rest are from Ranger and Morelli."

"You listened to all of my messages?" I asked.

"How else would I know to delete the messages from your mother?"

"I assumed that you had some kind of magical unmentionable ability that could erase the messages from my mother without listening." I shrugged.

"Honey, I'm good, but even I'm not that good." He said walking into my kitchen and opening the refrigerator door. "What do you want for dinner?"

"We'll have to order take-out. I haven't been home for a couple of days and I need to go grocery shopping. I'm even out of peanut butter and olives."

"No, you're not." Diesel said pulling out a pan of chicken enchiladas. "Are you okay with this for dinner?"

The food fairy must have showed up over the weekend in the form of Ella. She must have stocked my refrigerator and cabinets. I opened a cabinet door to find a wide variety of TastyKakes, peanut butter, olives, and chips. God bless Ella!

Ella knows how inept I am in the kitchen, so everything was prepared where all I had to was reheat the enchiladas in the microwave. She also left some kind of bean and rice dish to have with the enchiladas. Ella always thinks of everything! Diesel fixed glasses of ice and poured cokes for us.

Once everything, including the cake, was on the table, we ate in silence. Once dinner was over with Diesel pushed his chair out and said, "So tell Uncle Diesel all about it."

"Ew! Don't call yourself Uncle Diesel. It's creepy." I told him wrinkling my nose.

"Fine, but you need to spill I want to hear what happened from your point of view. You were hiding out for a reason."

Diesel followed me into the living room, setting on the opposite side of the couch from me. I told Diesel about Tony Biancho blowing up my car and how Ranger and Joe acted at the scene and at my apartment afterwards. The entire time I told him my side of the story, tears were threatening to fall from my eyes. I finished telling Diesel my story with how Tank let me hide out at his house over the weekend.

"Well, I don't know if it helps any, but I think you did the right thing hiding out for the few days. Ranger and Morelli need to realize how their behavior is affecting you. Ranger thinks that he can't offer you want you need, so he keeps you at arm's length. Morelli on the other hand wants you to fit into a mold of what he thinks a perfect wife and mother should be. Neither one has ever asked you what you want. You've tried to tell Morelli, but he's so wrapped up in his own ideas that he refuses to listen. You've only told Ranger that you can't do sex with no strings attached. You've never actually spelled out for him what strings that you would expect him to attach to a relationship." Diesel explained. "The way I see it everybody is guilty doing something wrong in this whole love triangle thing you have going on here."

I was about to say something when Diesel's cell phone rang.

"Diesel." He said standing up and taking a few steps away from the couch. He listened for a few minutes then said, "I'm on my way." Then he turned around and said to me, "I have to go to New York for a few days. An unmentionable with x-ray vision is using his ability to look into women's apartments."

"An unmentionable peeping tom?" I asked. "Sometimes I think that your unmentionables have a lot in common with some of my skips."

"Yeah, but your skips look through windows and mine look through walls. I'll come back to see you after I take care of this guy." He said taking my hand and pulling me up to stand. "Listen, Ranger and Morelli need to learn to listen to you and to quit acting like children. When they learn their lesson, one will man up, the other will realize that he should step back and not stand in the way of your happiness."

"Yeah, but how long will that take?" I asked, letting my tears fall.

"Oh, it will happen sooner than you think." Diesel said handing me a tissue that he grabbed off of my Kleenex box on the coffee table.

I wiped my eyes with the tissue and looked up to say thanks, but Diesel had vanished. One of these days I'm going to convince him to tell me how he does that.

I watched Ghostbusters before getting ready for bed. While I got ready for bed, I began to think about what Diesel had told me. He's right. I've never actually sat down and talked to Ranger about what I wanted in life, mostly because I'm afraid that he still may reject me. And I have no idea what to do with Joe. I've told him over and over again that I'm not sure if I ever want to get married and have children. I do know that I haven't helped the rivalry between Ranger and Joe by running back and forth between them.

I went to bed feeling better now that I have a sense of clarity with the situation. I quickly feel into a deep sleep, but about three in the morning my eyes popped opened and I could feel a tingle on the back of my neck. I slowly sat up and looked over at the chair that was in the corner of my bedroom. Looking at my guest, I said, "I certainly wasn't expecting to see you tonight."


	10. Chapter 10

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

Chapter 10

Steph's POV

Thank God I decided to wear pajamas tonight, instead of sleeping in one of Ranger's t-shirts and a pair of panties. I have developed the habit of stealing Ranger's shirts to sleep in, quite some time ago. The smell of Ranger always helps me sleep at night. The only reason that I wasn't wearing the t-shirt was Ella had packed three pairs of pajamas in the overnight bag. I had already worn the other two pair while I was at Tank's and felt guilty not wearing the third pair, since she went to the trouble of buying them for me. Of course, in retrospect the t-shirt would have covered more than the blue Victoria Secret spaghetti strapped tank top and short set that I was currently wearing.

"Cute pajamas. New?" He said from the chair in the corner. I almost moved that chair out of my bedroom once, but I couldn't go through with it. The chair may be old, but he's sat in it enough that the chair permanently smells like him. Sometimes when Ranger's 'in the wind', I will sit in that chairs for hours praying that God will bring him home to me, safe and unharmed. I know that most women would find it creepy knowing that a man sneaks into their bedroom at night to watch them sleep, but not me. Sometimes I pretend to sleep, but other times I'll sit up and spend a few hours talking to him, since it's one of the few times we can hang out without being interrupted. If he's just came home from a mission, I'll pull the covers back and tell him to climb in bed and get some sleep. He's the only person that I like breaking into my apartment. But that's not something that I'm willing to admit out loud.

"Yes." I answered raising my hand to rub the back of my neck. The tingle on the back of my neck was still going strong. "Are you planning on telling me why you're here?"

"I saw the Buick in the parking lot." He responded.

"So you just happened to be driving by my apartment building, at three in the morning, and thought that it would be a nice time to pay a visit?" I glared.

"Something like that." He said quietly.

"Try again." I challenged.

"I needed to see that you were okay. I was worried." He said as he stood up, walked over and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Alright Joe, you've seen me. I'm fine. You can go now." I said as I reached up and rubbed my neck again. The tingle was growing stronger. I've never felt it before with Joe, only Ranger. Ranger must be somewhere nearby. I stood up and walked over to my bedroom window. I searched the parking lot for one of Ranger's vehicles or one of the Rangeman SUVs. I was growing more confused since the tingle was growing so strong that it felt like I was vibrating. It was so strong that I had expected to see Ranger on the fire escape when I pushed back the curtain. I guess that I shouldn't be surprised. Ranger's like smoke. You won't see him unless he wants you to see him.

"Is Ranger with you?" I said turning to face Joe.

"Do you see Ranger?" He asked.

"No." I answered quietly. I couldn't bring myself to tell Joe that while I didn't see Ranger, I could certainly feel him. Joe may be a controlling jerk that never listens, but I know that he does care about me. I just couldn't rub my connection to Ranger in Joe's face, even if he did deserve it.

"You're being strangely quiet." I said walking back over to the bed and sitting down. I grabbed my pillow and used it as a barrier between me and Joe. The Ranger tingles were was causing my Hungarian hormones to hum. I was afraid that my hormones would mistake Joe for Ranger, causing me to lose control and jump him. I didn't want to give Joe in false hope that we would get back together. Just because I knew that I had no chance of having an actual relationship with Ranger didn't meant that Joe deserved to be my second choice. Somewhere out there was the perfect woman for Joe that would make a perfect 'Burg wife. He deserved a chance to find her. That would never happen if we continued to get back together only to break up again. This on-again off-again thing wasn't good for either one of us. I want Joe to be happy, even if that means that I'm alone for the rest of my life.

"I can be quiet." Joe replied, interrupting my thoughts.

"Joe, I've known you my entire life. You yell. You wave your arms in the air. You, Joe, are never quiet." I argued.

Joe opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it. Then a blank face slammed down. I've seen Joe with his cop face before, but I had never seen Joe with a blank face. Joe's cop face always has traces of what he's feeling, unlike Ranger's blank face which is impossible to read. This blank face reminded me of Ranger's.

"Listen Joe, you're obviously exhausted, otherwise you wouldn't be acting so…strange. We need to talk, but I think that it would be best if we waited until the morning. The way I see it, you have a couple of options. The first option is that you can go home and come back in the morning. The problem with that is you're not acting like yourself, probably from being tired. I'm a little worried about you driving home."

"The second option?" Joe asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The second option is sleeping on my couch." I offered. "And we can finish out talk in the morning over breakfast."

"And if I don't want to sleep on the couch?" He replied.

I rolled my eyes. I should have known to expect this. "I guess you can sleep in here, but you need to realize that this does not mean that we are back together or an invitation to have sex. IF you sleep in my bed, you will keep your pants on and your hands to yourself. If you try to initiate sex at any time during the night, I will assume that you decided on option number one and you can leave immediately."

Normally Joe would make a comment about his 'boys' missed me before crawling into bed. Instead Joe quietly walked over to the other side of the bed, removed his shoes and shoes, and emptied his pockets of his jeans. He looked at me for a moment with longing in his eyes before crawling into bed. I turned my back to him, hoping that it would discourage him from trying anything. Once he was settled in bed, I felt him reach to pull my back against his chest.

"No touching. Just sleep. You stay on your side of the bed and I'll stay on mine." I said moving over to the edge of the bed. The no touching rule was more for my benefit than Joe's. The tingle on the back of my neck was still going strong. I was afraid that it would cause me to dream about Ranger which would cause me to attack Joe in my sleep.

Despite the tingle, I was finally able to doze off to sleep. I'm pretty sure that I was dreaming when I felt someone lean over, kiss my hair, and say "I love you, Babe", to which I automatically replied, "I love you too, Ranger". It was a good thing I was dreaming, right?

The next morning I woke to the smell of breakfast and the back of my neck still tingling. I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. Once I was prepared for the day, I walked into the kitchen in search of coffee and determined to convince Joe to move on and get on with his life.

"I heard you get up. I fixed your coffee for you, cream with two sugars. Breakfast will be ready in a few seconds." He said handing me a coffee with cream and sugar. In all the years I've known him, this was the first time he's ever fixed coffee the way I like it. I didn't know that he knew that I took cream with two sugars in my coffee

"Thanks." I said taking a drink. "This is the best coffee you've ever made."

Joe didn't say anything as he slid an omelet on my plate which already held bacon and toast.

I was too busy moaning through my delicious breakfast when I noticed that Joe's plate was different than mine. He had one scrambled egg, toast with no butter, and fruit.

"Since when did you stop eating bacon?" I asked.

"I overdid it with the saturated fats this weekend." He shrugged, taking a drink of his coffee.

"Okay, but when did you start taking your coffee black?" I asked. Joe normally used a touch of cream and a half of teaspoon of sugar. I should know I've fixed his coffee a hundred times.

"I overdid it on the sugar, too." He replied.

"That's never stopped you before." I said.

Joe reached over and grabbed a slice of bacon off of my plate.

"Hey! That's mine!" I yelled.

"I thought you said that I was the one always yelling." Joe countered.

"No, we both yell. You just do it a lot more than I do. It's what makes us dysfunctional." I explained.

We ate the rest of our breakfast in silence, which is usually how I eat breakfast with Ranger, not Joe. Maybe he's up to something. First he sits in Ranger's chair, then he's quiet, then he sleeps in my bed without trying to have sex (that's a first, believe me), and now he's eating healthier. I'm starting to think Joe is up to something, but that still doesn't explain the tingles.

Once breakfast was over, we moved into the living room to talk.

"You said that we needed to talk." Joe said sitting down on my couch. I decided to sit on the opposite side of the couch, just in case Joe got upset and starting yelling and waving his arms around.

"Yeah Joe, we do."


	11. Chapter 11

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

Chapter 11

Ranger's POV

I knew that I was taking a chance last night by breaking into my Babe's apartment, but I when I saw Big Blue I couldn't stop myself. I was afraid that she would see me as Joe and welcome me with open arms. It wouldn't be the first time they got back together. The thought of Babe and Joe getting back together again rips me apart inside.

I can't explain how thrilled I was each time Babe would rub the back of her neck. I knew it meant that she could sense me even though I was trapped in Morelli's body. Stephanie doesn't realize it, but I get the same tingle each time I'm near her. That tingle has helped me find her on more than one occasion. She thinks it's the trackers that I make her carry that help me find her, but that's more so my men can find her. That tingle led me right to the cabinet that Stiva had locked her in after he kidnapped her.

I believe that our connection has brought me home from every mission since the day I met her. There have been times when I am seconds from being discovered and I can hear her voice calling out to me. I don't know if she's asking God to protect me or if it's all in my head, but she has saved my life on countless missions. I should have been dead years ago, but I'm alive and I know it's because of her.

"Joe are you listening to me?" She asked.

"Uh…could you repeat that?" I asked.

I pride myself on my ability to have self control and always being aware of my surroundings, two things that I find difficult when my Babe is near. I've lost the battle with both each time I've pulled Babe into the alley by the Bond's office. If I'm near her I have to hold her, to kiss her, to love her. There have been so many times that I've wanted to confess my feelings with no qualifiers only to have my self-control fight back and remind me that she deserves better than the life that I can offer her.

Stephanie took a deep breath and started again. "I said that last week was the last straw. I can appreciate that you show up to the scenes of my accidents because your concerned for my well-being, but Joe, we're not together anymore. You can't grab me and drag me away just because you don't like that fact that Ranger's there too. I'm not a toy for you and Ranger to fight over. I wasn't your property when we were together and I'm definitely not your property now."

"I don't recall either one of us referring to you as a toy." I replied.

"Your actions speak louder than your words. And that's saying a lot with your Italian temper. Listen, this wasn't the first time the two of you have behaved like this, but it better be the last." Babe warned and then sighed. "Joe, you need to move on. We're not together anymore and we're not getting back together. You're always claiming that you love me, but you don't. Not really anyway. When you love someone, you listen to them. You refuse to listen to me when I try to tell you what I want with my life. You don't respect me or my decisions. Face it, Joe. We want different things out of life, and I don't see that changing anytime in the near future, if ever."

I've heard Babe say that she didn't want the married life with house in the 'Burg, with the white picket fence and 2.5 kids, but I always thought that deep down she wanted that kind of life. I knew she didn't want those things right now, but I thought that eventually she would settle into the 'Burg life. I should have known by now that my Babe doesn't settle.

"What kind of different things?" I asked, refusing to get my hopes up. Deep down I knew that I was hoping that she would admit that she wanted a relationship with me. If she had the courage to admit her feeling for me to Joe, I would know that it was truly over between them.

"I've told you over and over again, but you never want to listen. First of all, I like my job. Despite the rolling in garbage, stalkers, and exploding cars; I'm a good bounty hunter. I realize that I can't be a BEA forever, but I have no intention of quitting my job for a very long time. When I get to the point I can't chase skips anymore, I still want to work in this field. I'm good at skip tracing. When I run searches for Rangeman, I can find information that most people would overlook. Lester once said my research turned up stuff that they would have missed initially. Lester said that my research saves Rangeman time and money."

Lester had told Babe the truth. Because of her research, not only has Rangeman saved time and money, but also my men have been more prepared for take downs which has cut down on injuries in the line of duty.

"Secondly," she continued. "I don't want to hurt you, but there's no other way to say this. I don't ever want to marry you, have your children, or do anything else 'Burg. I tried being married. I didn't like it, and I'm not sure that I ever want to try it again. Maybe one day far, far in the future, but definitely not anytime soon. And I don't care how many times you ask…." Babe's voice trails off to a whisper.

"You don't care how many times I ask what?" I ask.

Babe looked at me with tears rolling down her face. It was all I could do to not pull her into my lap and kiss her tears away.

"I don't care how many times that you ask me to cut Ranger out of my life…I won't do it. Never. Ranger is too important to me."

I'm important to her. I had always thought that I might be, but I have never actually heard her say the words. I knew about Morelli demands that she cut me out of her life, but she never did. I had to force my face to remain neutral. It was taking all my self control to not kiss her senseless right now. The only thing that stopped me was reminding myself that I'm in Joe's body instead of my own.

"Even though he's told you that his life doesn't lend itself to relationships? That he would never do anything stupid like marriage? Or the fact that he has two guns and a knife on him at all times and that doesn't exactly make him father material?" I asked. I've always had a tendency to say stupid things when I'm around my Babe. I've put my foot in my mouth so many times. I blame it on feeling insecure around Babe. I've always been over confident when it came to missions or Rangeman, but with Babe it's the opposite. Sure I can put up a good act, but that's all it is an act to attempt to cover up how much I love her. I once told her that she was a line item on my entertainment budget. I know, it was a stupid thing to say. As bad as that was, it still not as bad as the time I told her to go back to Morelli. I'm still kicking myself over that one.

A moment of confusion sweeps over her eyes. "How did you know about that? I never told you that Ranger said those things to me." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I still refuse to cut him out of my life. And I disagree with you on the father issue. He proved that when Scrogg kidnapped Julie. He loves his daughter, even if he doesn't broadcast it to everyone in Trenton."

I've always tried to hide my feelings and emotions regarding Julie, but my Babe can read me like a book. I do love my daughter; I just don't voice my feelings to protect her from people like Scrogg. I have enemies that make Scrogg look like the Easter Bunny on a sugar high. I've tried to protect my Babe the same way, although I apparently have only been able to hide my feelings from Babe since it seems that all of Trenton is aware of how I feel about her. Thanks to Stephanie's help, my daughter is at home in Miami with her mother, adoptive father, and half siblings. Julie and I have grown closer since the kidnapping. Julie and I talk once a week on a secure line. Last month she told me that she wants to go to Princeton after she graduates high school. I hope that when she moves closer we can spend more time together since I've missed out on so much of her childhood.

"I want to make sure that I understand this. You don't want the 'Burg life?" I asked.

"No, Joe. I don't."

"Then can you explain to me exactly what you do want?" I asked. It's a question that I've always wanted to ask, but never had the courage to, before today.

"I've already explained what I want career wise. As far as my personal life, I know what I want. But that's something that I need to discuss that with someone else before I discuss it with you." She explained. "Joe, the point is that you and I are not on the same page. And I don't think that we ever will be, at least not at the same time."

"And you're sure about this?" I asked.

"There is no doubt in my mind." She said, determinedly.

I couldn't hold back my smile when I said, "Proud of you, Babe."

Big mistake!

"Are you trying to be funny?" Stephanie said, narrowing her eyes at me.

"I…Uh…." I stammered.

"Was this all an act?" She demanded, jumping to her feet and placing her hands on her hips.

It only took a split second for Babe to go into what she calls full rhino mode. I'm in so much trouble. How so I explain calling her Babe. She would never believe me if I told her that I was Ranger trapped in Joe's body. She would call Rangeman and they would be all too happy to drag me to the St. Francis Hospital Psych Ward. None of my men like Morelli.

"An act?" I asked.

"Yeah, Joe. An act! You show up last night and break into my apartment! Just like Ranger! You sit in Ranger's chair and watch me sleep! Just like Ranger! You were quiet last night and this morning, never saying more than necessary! Just like Ranger! You've never fixed my coffee the way I like it, but this morning you fixed my coffee exactly like I like it! Just like Ranger does! Even your breakfast was different! It was something more like Ranger would eat. You like donuts and things dripping in fat in butter! When I told you that I never want to marry you, instead of yelling and waving your arms around, you sat there calm. Just like Ranger! And now! Now you call me Babe. Exactly like Ranger does!" Babe starts pacing back and forth. "The only thing I can't figure out is the tingling! I only get that tingle on the back of my neck when Ranger is nearby. I've never had that happen with you before last night. You and I don't have the same connection that Ranger and I do!"

"But...Babe…" Uh oh, I did it again.

Babe stopped pacing, but she's so upset that she's shaking. She points to the door and quietly says, "Get out."

My heart is breaking at the look of hurt on her face. I want to take her in my arms and explain. But I know that if someone told me they were trapped in someone else's body, I would think that they were insane.

"I…" I try again.

"Get out!" Babe yells. "Get out! Get out! Get out!" Each 'get out' becoming louder than the first.

I know that she thinks that she is yelling at Morelli, but that doesn't make her telling me to 'get out' hurt any less. Normally, if I was in my own body, all it would take would be remaining quiet and raising an eyebrow until she cooled off. I stand up and walk over to Babe's apartment door. I turned around to look at Babe one more time before walking out, shutting the door behind me.

I need to find Diesel, so he can switch Morelli and me back. As soon as I'm back in my own body, I'm going to man up and tell her that I love her. I refuse to stay quiet and possible lose the best thing that ever walked into my life. Babe is my reason for breathing.

When I reach Morelli's truck, I find a note taped to the steering wheel from Diesel. How did that get in here? The truck doors were locked.

I unfolded the note and read:

_I hope that you're learning something from this experience. Be careful, if you or Morelli get killed this temporary switch will become permenant._

_ Diesel_

Suddenly, the note disappears into thin air. I guess that shouldn't surprise me. This is Diesel we're talking about.

I have learned something from this. I always thought that I knew what Stephanie wanted. I thought that deep down she wanted a life like Morelli could provide. I can't believe how wrong I was. I wonder if she would be open to that kind of life with me. Stephanie has a way of making me want things that I never thought I would. I can imagine her holding a child with my skin tone and her curly hair and blue eyes. It gives me something to think about, but in the meantime I need to find Diesel. I can't convince Babe that it's time for our 'Someday' if I'm in Morelli's body. The only problem is that I have no idea where to start looking.

But first I better make an appearance at the Police Station. People might start asking questions if Morelli fails to show up for work.


	12. Chapter 12

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

A/N: There's mention of a unusually law in this chapter. I looked it up on the internet and it really does exist.

Chapter 12

Stephanie's POV

Joe has a lot of nerve to call me 'Babe'. He knows that Ranger's nickname for me. Did he think that if he called me 'Babe' that it would make me want to go running back to him? He should know that changing his behavior wouldn't change anything between us. Just like changing me wouldn't change anything. All it would do is make us both miserable. Joe and I just don't belong together.

At least I have my talk with Joe over with. Now all I have to do is work up the nerve to talk to Ranger about his behavior. I'm afraid that conservations may not go any better that the one I just had with Joe.

I'll have to worry about this later. I need to go by the Bond's office to see if Connie has any files for me. My rent is due next week and if I don't bring in some FTAs my rent check will bounce. Of course if I buy Dillon a six pack I bribe him into a few more days without him adding a late fee.

I had just grabbed my purse and keys off of the kitchen counter when I heard a knock of the door of my apartment. I put my purse and keys back on the counter and went to open the door.

"Bomber, you should know by now to open the door without checking the peephole first." Bobby, the Rangeman medic, said.

"Yeah, Beautiful." Lester agreed. "You shouldn't answer your door without your gun in your hand, either. You never know what kind of crazy person could be on the other side."

"In my experience the crazy ones don't knock. They just walk on in whenever they feel like it. I can even give you two perfect examples, Ranger and Joe." I rolled my eyes. "Come on in."

Lester and Bobby walked into my living room. Lester plopped down on my couch while Bobby leaned against the wall.

"We brought presents!" Lester announced, waving an ink pen in the air.

"Let me guess. You brought me a new tracker." I dead panned. "No thank you."

"Bomber, this tracker only sends a signal the core team, with the exception of Ranger. We assumed that after last week that you would probably want to avoid Ranger for a few days." Bobby explained. "If you click the end of the pen, it activates a panic button hidden inside the pen."

"Or I could not carry any trackers and actually have privacy for once." I countered.

"Yes, but if you carry out tracker, we can call and warn you if Ranger heads your way." Lester grinned.

"Ranger hasn't been acting like himself the last couple of days. He was called to the mats over the weekend and he could barely hold his own. His strength was fine, but he didn't have his usually mental control and his reflexes were slow." Bobby explained. "Normally Ranger can anticipate every move that his opponents. It's rare that any of us can get a good hit in, but Ranger spent more time laying on the mat than fighting on it."

"You should have seen it, Beautiful." Lester grinned. "He's currently suffering with a black eye and couple of bruise ribs."

"Oh my God! Why would anyone call Ranger to the mats?" I asked. There must be something in the water. First Joe acts weird and now Lester and Booby tell me that Ranger's acting weird, too.

"Everybody at Rangeman is on your side, Bomber. Ranger and Morelli need to stop this nonsense and man up, especially Ranger. He should know better than to treat someone he cares about like he's been treating you." Bobby said.

"It's not entirely their fault. I'm the one that has spent the last few years running back and forth between them. Joe wants a commitment, and Ranger wants anything but a commitment. They would have never started acting like this if I could have made myself marry Joe."

"Don't you think it says a lot that you've never been able to commit enough to marry Joe?" Lester asked.

"Yeah, I realize that now. It won't be a problem anymore. I told Joe to move on with his life, because I would never marry him." I explained.

"How did he take that news?" Lester asked.

"He told me that he was proud of me and then he called me 'Babe'." I told them.

"Morelli called you 'Babe'? Bobby asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Which led to me yelling at Joe and kicking him out of my apartment."

"Will I get kicked out if I tell you that I'm proud of you for standing up to Morelli?" Lester grinned.

"No, I think I only got mad because Joe kind on sounded like Ranger when he said it. I think that he thought he was being funny."

"So, will you carry the tracker?" Lester asked.

"As long as you promise to warn me if you see Ranger headed my direction. I'm not ready to face him yet." I agreed, taking the tracker pen from Lester and putting it in the back pocket of my jeans.

"We better get going. I need to get back to Rangeman and start doing inventory in the clinic. If you decided that you need something to do, I could sneak you into Rangeman so you could help me." Bobby offered.

"And risk running into Ranger? I don't think so." I replied.

Bobby laughed. "That's what I figured you would say."

Lester and Bobby walked me down to Big Blue. I decided that I better run by the Tasty Pastry for donuts. After the morning I had, I needed sugar to calm my nerves.

It was mid morning by the time I made it to the Bond's office.

"It's about time you got here, White Girl!" Lula exclaimed, as she grabbed the box of donuts out of my hand as I walked into the Bond's office.

"Good to see you too, Lula." I said, rolling my eyes. Lula was dressed in typical Lula fashion. Today she was wearing a bright pink spandex skirt with a bright yellow feathered top. She was wearing bright yellow 5 inch FMPs and bright pink hair that matched her skirt perfectly. I have to give Lula some credit. I would be afraid to wear feathers around Vinnie. I would hate for him to confuse me with a duck.

"Connie, do you have any more files for me?" I asked. Connie was sitting behind her desk painting her nails blood red to match the dress she was wearing. Connie paints her nails every day. I'm afraid to ask how many coats of nail polish are on her nails. It would probably take a gallon of nail polish remover to get all of the layers off.

"Just one new file, it's Darla Perry. She didn't show up for court Friday afternoon. She probably just forgot. It should be easy money." She told me, using her elbow to slide the file towards me.

"Where have you been? No one has seen you since last week. It's all over the 'Burg that Supercop and Batman have been looking for you." Lula asked as she shoved a jelly filled donut into her mouth.

"Ranger and Joe were acting like children after Tony Biancho blew up my car last week. Then they showed up at my apartment and proceeded to continue to act like children fighting over the last piece of candy in their grandmother's purse. They were so focused on each other that they didn't notice me sneaking out of my apartment. I ended up hiding out at a friend's house over the weekend." Lula explained.

I chose to ignore her question, hoping that she would let it drop. Instead I asked, "Connie, what did Darla Perry do?"

I've known Darla since we were in high school. I couldn't imagine what she could be involved in. Darla was not the type of person that you expect to go FTA. She was the reserved, quiet type in school. She always made good grades. She excelled in home economics classes. I remember because she was always taking Joe whatever she cooked in class. She was just one of the many girls in high school with a crush on Joe.

"The fact that she was arrested was absolutely ridiculous. Gaspick used some unreasonable old law to arrest her. When Vinnie told me why she was arrested I didn't believe him, so I looked it up online. Apparently, New Jersey has a law that makes it illegal to frown at a police officer. Can you believe that? I think that Gaspick just wanted to get back at Darla."

"Why would Picky want to get back at Darla?" Lula asked.

Connie leaned forward. "Well, I heard it from Jennifer Ramone, who heard it from Cynthia D'Angelo, who heard it from Darla's sister, Karen, that Gaspick has asked Darla out to dinner three times and she turned him down each time. Knowing Gaspick he spent hours looking up that stupid law so he could have something to use against her."

"Why didn't the judge dismiss the charges?" I asked.

"The judge assigned to the case is married Picky's cousin, Betty. I always knew that he had to be related to someone important. He should have been fired from the department a long time ago." Connie said, rolling her eyes.

I didn't need have to open Darla's file to know where to find her. Darla has worked as a bank teller for the Bank of America since we graduated high school.

"Connie, let me use your phone." I said picking up the phone. When someone finally answered I asked to speak to Darla.

"Thank you for calling Bank of America in Trenton. This is Darla. How may I help you?" She answered.

"Darla, this is Stephanie Plum. I heard that Gaspick has been giving you trouble." I replied.

"That little worm! He arrested me because I didn't smile at him. Can you believe that? He's just mad because I'm interested in someone instead of him." Darla grumbled.

"When is your lunch break? I can run by and we can go by the station. Connie can meet us there and repost your bond. While we're there we can talk to the Police Chief and see about getting the charges dropped." I offered. I looked offer at Connie, who nodded that she would meet us at the police station.

"Really? You could do that? Thanks." Darla squealed. "Do you think that Joe might be working? I mean, the two of you haven't got back together, have you? I made cinnamon rolls before work this morning. I could take him some."

I think I know who she's interested in instead of Picky. I smiled, "Joe and I won't be getting back together. I bet he would love your cinnamon rolls. He always loved the food you made him in high school." I told her.

"Great! I get my lunch break at 11 a.m. Can you be here by then?" She asked.

"I need to make one more phone call, and then I'll be there. See you in a few." I promised, hanging up and immediately dialing Sandy Biancho.

"It's your dime." Sandy answered.

"Hey Sandy, it's Steph." I told her.

"Oh, Stephanie! I'm so sorry about what Tony did to your car. He promised to go FTA so that you can get his capture fee. He promised to go with you willing and not cause any trouble."

"Thanks…I think." I said. "Would you be able to meet me at the police station in about a hour. Connie will already be there so she can repost your bond."

"Yeah, I can be there. See you there!" She said hanging up. _Click. _Great! Another person that doesn't say good-bye before they hang up. Doesn't anyone have manners anymore?

"White Girl, you still haven't told us whose house you were at over the weekend. I know it wasn't Mary Lou's or your parent's because Batman and Supercop would have found you there." Lula reminded me. So much for hoping that she would forget.

"I can't right now. Darla's expecting me at the Bank. I'd ask you to go with me but I may be at the police station for a while and I know how that bothers your stomach." I said quickly, as I rushed out of the office and jumped into Big Blue.

It only took me a few minutes to get to the bank. I knew I was a little early, but I didn't want to wait in the Bond's office and be questioned by Lula. When I walked into the bank, I waved at Darla and motioned over the waiting area where they kept cookies and coffee for customers waiting to speak to the loan officers. I never did get a chance to eat a donut, and at this point I was in desperate need of sugar.

I had just taken a bite of a chocolate chip cookie when gunfire erupted inside of the bank, followed by screams.

"Everybody get down!" A deep male voice yelled. I immediately hit the floor as I reached into my back jeans pocket and grabbed the pen that Lester and Bobby had dropped off this morning. I had just enough time to activate it when I heard, "Look what we have here! We have a real celebrity in the bank today." He said as he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me to my feet. "It's that Bombshell Bounty Hunter. You might come in real handy if the cops show up before we have a chance to get out of here."

Why does this kind of thing always happen to me?


	13. Chapter 13

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

Chapter 13

Joe's POV

Tank pulled me out of bed yesterday morning, at 5:05 a.m. According to Tank, I was late for my appointment on the mats. When I got down to the gym, there was a line of Manoso's employees. Tank pointed to the mat, indicating that I should take my place at the center. Once I was there I asked, "Okay, I'm here. Now what?"

"Manoso, you are hereby called to the mats for crimes against Stephanie Plum." Tank bellowed.

Half of me was excited that I would have something to use against Manoso. The other half of me was a little nervous, looking at all of the Manoso's employees that were lined up facing the mats standing at ease.

"You have been found guilty by your peers of withholding information of your true feelings from Stephanie. You have also been found guilty of committing a Morelli offense. Do you have anything to say for yourself before your punishment?" Tank asked.

"I have a couple of questions." I replied. "What's a Morelli offense?" I wasn't sure if I should be honored or insulted by Rangeman employees naming something after me.

Tank looked at me like I had lost my mind. "Woody, explain to Bossman what a Morelli offense is, since he has apparently forgotten." Tank yelled.

One of the guys snapped to attention. "Sir, Yes Sir. A Morelli offense is when someone puts their own needs before Bomber's well being, mentally or physically. In this case, Ranger is being charge with focusing on Morelli instead of Bomber at the site of the last car explosion, punishable by being called to the mats."

"At ease!" Tank said before turning to me. "Each Rangeman has called you to the mats. Each one will get their turn. You will stay in the gym until each and every employee has had their turn, starting with me." Tank began removing his shirt and shoes. I quickly did the same.

When Tank got into fighting stance, I figured out that we were going to spar. Tank is bigger than me, but I had boxed in the Navy. I should be able to handle this.

At least that's what I thought until Tank kicked me in the ribs, knocking the wind out of me. I tried to throw a couple of punches, but he was too quick for me. The match felt like it went on forever, but probably only lasted fifteen or twenty minutes. Whenever I would think that I had a chance to land a blow, Tank would sweep his leg, knocking my feet out from under me. I spent most of the time alternating between landing on my back or landing face down. Tank's final blow knocked me out cold. The worst part is that I never landed a single punch.

The strong smell of smelling salts brought me back to consciousness.

"You back?" Bobby asked, leaning over me.

"What the hell was that?" I asked.

"That was Tank teaching you a lesson. I've never seen a match between the two of you end that quick. The two of you usually go at it for a couple of hours, just for fun." Bobby said.

"Yeah, Ranger, since when do you fight like a girl?" Lester laughed. "Tank was only getting started."

I wanted to say something that would put him in his place, but my head hurt too much to think. Instead I looked around and asked, "Where did everybody go?"

"I told them to get to work. They can still call you to the mats, but it's going to have to wait until you're in better condition. I don't think you could handle any more today." Bobby said, shining a light into my eyes. "You have a concussion. Go upstairs and I'll send someone to check on you every couple of hours."

I spent the rest of the day hiding out in Manoso's apartment. I thought about calling Manoso to see how it was going for him, but I didn't want to admit that I couldn't last twenty minutes on the mats with Tank, since Bobby said that Ranger and Tank usually spar of hours. I didn't want Ranger to think I couldn't hack it.

Lester checked on me every two hours. The first time he came upstairs he brought pink nail polish that he had found in Cupcake's desk on five. The second time he came he brought a tiara and a princess wand with him.. I don't even want to know where he found those. On his third trip to check on me he brought tampons and Midol, which I threw back at his head and missed. That man had guts to go into a grocery store and buy tampons. I wouldn't do that for Cupcake if my life depended on it. Someone from the 'Burg or the precinct might see me and I would never live it down.

By Monday morning, I was almost back to normal. My ribs still hurt and I had a black eye, but at least I could use the time to look for dirt on Manoso in his apartment. Alright, to be honest, I didn't want to go downstairs to five and risk hearing comments about how I fought like a girl yesterday.

I looked around Manoso apartment and couldn't find anything I could use against him. I had been looking on and off for days and found nothing. I was to the point that I was almost ready to believe that he was the good guy that Cupcake claimed he was. Notice I said almost.

I have to admit that Manoso's life isn't half bad. A swanky apartment, a housekeeper, fancy cars, and I could definitely get used to having breakfast delivered every morning. Maybe I could convince Cupcake to take cooking lessons from my mother before we get married.

Manoso's cell phone began ringing, distracting me from my thoughts.

"What?" I answered.

"Uh…R…R..Ranger, sir?" The voice stuttered.

"Who wants to know?" I asked.

"Uh….Uh….it's Hal, sir." He responded. "We have an armed robbery in progress at the Bank of America on Hamilton Avenue."

Finally! I finally have evidence to use against Manoso. Just when I was about to give up, it drops in my lap. Rangeman must be a cover to the armed robberies they commit.

"Out with it. How much did we get?" I demanded.

Hall paused on the other end of the line. "Uh… how much did we get of what?" He asked.

"How much money are we getting off of this job?" I asked with glee.

"Uh…the bank has the elite business security package." Hal replied.

"What do you mean by 'elite business package'?" I asked, thinking that it must be some type of code to cover up the robbery.

"Sir, the Bank of America is one of our biggest security accountants in Trenton." He explained, before asking, "Are you feeling okay? Should I contact Bobby? Do you think that you're having a stroke?"

"What would make you think that I'm having a stroke?" I yelled into the phone.

"Uh...well…uh…you did take quite a beating from Tank yesterday." Hal said. I could hear him shuffling some papers. "We were able to contact one of the loan officers. He locked himself in his office as soon as he heard the gun fire. He's currently hiding under his desk. There are six men, heavily armed. There are currently fifteen employees on duty and an unknown number of hostages."

"And?" I prompted.

"The Core team and Hector are waiting for you in the parking garage. Who else would you like to send?" Hal asked.

How should I know who else to send? It's not like I've ever bothered to learn any of the Rangeman employee's names. The only reason I recognize Tank, Lester, and Bobby is because they are always with showing up with Manoso to the scene of whatever Cupcake's latest disaster, making them a constant thorn in my side.

"Call everyone off. We can let the Trenton P.D. and SWAT team handle it. We shouldn't get involved. Our presence could cause an innocent bystander to get hurt." I told him.

"B…B…But protocol states that…" Hal stammered.

"Are you questioning me, Soldier?" I yelled. Over the last few days I have witnessed Tank ask that question to a couple of different employees. At the time, I thought it was unnecessary, but now I can see why he did it. It was fun!

"N…N…No, Sir." Hal replied. I could hear someone talking to him in the background, before he continued. "Sir we have another problem. Bomber's panic button has just been activated."

"I'm sure it's nothing. She's probably just upset because she's covered in garbage again." I replied. If she would just marry me, she could quit bounty hunting and wouldn't have to get covered in garbage on a daily basis.

"Sir, Bomber's panic button was activated from inside the Bank of America building." Hal explained.

Of course she is. I need Maalox and I know for a fact that Manoso doesn't' keep that sort of thing in his apartment. I know, I checked.

"Fine, we'll go. I'll be down in a few. But...uh… could you have someone meet me in the garage with a gun. Something's wrong with my gun safe and I can't get into it to get a gun." I said, hoping he would buy my lie.

"Yes, sir. Do you want me to have Luis come take a look at it when all this is over with?" He asked.

"That would be great." I replied. I don't know who Luis is, but it couldn't hurt.

'Yes, sir." Hal said before hanging up. Cupcake's right. These guys must not know how to say good-bye at the end of a phone call.

I opened the door to Ranger's apartment and pushed the button to call the elevator. When the elevator doors opened, I saw a note taped to the back wall of the elevator. I grabbed it, quickly broke the seal, and read:

_I hope that you're learning something from this experience. Be careful, if you or Manoso get killed this temporary switch will become permanent._

_ Diesel_

The note disappeared in my hands. Creepy. I wonder if Manoso got a note from this guy.

I rode down to the parking garage in the elevator to meet the Core team. When the elevator doors opened there were at least ten men waiting with enough fire power to take down at least six third world countries.

"We were just about to leave without you." Tank commented. "The stairs would have been quicker."

"Why are so many people down here? I thought it was supposed to be only the Core team and Hector?" I asked as Tank handed me two guns and a knife and a Kevlar vest. Did they really think that I would need all of this?

"When Little Girl is involved we always double the size of the team." Tank said with a raised eyebrow. "You should know that since it is your policy."

"Of course it is." I said rolling my eyes and climbing into the passenger seat. Leave it to Manoso to go overboard when it involves Stephanie. I notice that Tank, Bobby, and Lester give each other strange looks before Tank climbs into the driver's seat of the SUV I'm in. He doesn't even take the time to fasten his seatbelt before he speeds out of the garage.

"Ever heard of a speed limit?" I asked,sarcastically, as I held onto the car's front dash for dear life.

"Speed limits are merely suggestions." He grumbled. "Since when do you care about how fast I drive?"

"Since it could cause a crash that could get me hurt!" I argued.

"Well, we're here so you can quit whining like a girl. Maybe you should sit back and let the rest of us handle this. You're not focused. You're more concerned with arguing with me that the fact that Little Girl's in that bank, in danger. You're starting to act more and more like Morelli, everyday. It's getting old fast. Get focused or you're going to get someone killed." He warned.

I was about to argue that I wasn't arguing or complaining when Ranger, in my body, walked up. Man, that never stops being weird.


	14. Chapter 14

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

A/N: Hector makes an appearance in this chapter. Anything that is said in Spanish will be in italics.

Chapter 14

Ranger's POV

By midmorning at the police station, I had already solved two of Morelli's cases. All I had to do was read the file to discover the guilty parties. Morelli could have solved the cases himself if he ever had a moment of peace around here. This station is as bad as the 'Burg gossip vine that Babe's always complaining about. I had already had at least a dozen cops or detectives stop by and ask about Babe and her latest car explosion.

I was just about to open another case file when the call came in about an armed robbery in progress at the Bank of America on Hamilton. That bank is one of Rangeman Trenton's biggest accounts. I made sure that I was included in the team that went down to the scene. I know that Tank would be at the scene with a team of Rangemen. I know that they are capable of handling everything without me, but I still wanted to make an appearance of at the scene, even if I was still in Morelli's body.

I was almost to the Bank of America when Morelli's cell phone rang.

"Yo." I answered.

"Hey Joe, its Connie. I heard about the bank robbery in progress and I thought that I should give you a call." Connie said, nervously. "I've already called Rangeman, so they could let Ranger know, too."

"Know what?" I asked.

"I think that Steph may be in the bank. She came by the bond's office this morning to pick up her files. One of her skips, Darla Perry, works as a teller at that bank. Steph was headed over to the bank to pick her up." Connie explained.

"You're positive that she's in there?" I asked, making sure that I hid any emotion from my voice.

"Pretty sure. She's had enough time to drive over there and go in. She didn't mention if she was going straight over there or not. She may have decided to stop somewhere before going to the bank, but you know how her luck is." Connie said. "I tried to call here cell phone, but it goes straight to voice mail."

"Trouble does seem to follow her around." I agreed.

"Word of advice?" Connie asked.

"About?" I asked. I seriously doubt that Connie could give me any advice on how to handle an armed robbery with hostages, but you never know.

"I would never have the guts to say this to Ranger, but the two of you need to put a couple of pacifiers in your mouths and get over this competition between the two of you. If Steph's in danger and the two of you start fighting like children, like you did last week, you could get her killed." Connie warned. "And if I want Ranger to know that comment I made about the pacifier, I'll tell him myself."

If she only knew, I thought as I rolled my eyes.

"Got it. If she's in there, we'll get her out safely." I promised.

"You do that. Bye Joe." Connie said, before hanging up.

I parked Morelli's truck next to the barrier that the police had set up to keep the crowd that had gather at safe distance away. The SWAT team was gathered with Tank and the rest of my men. Morelli was with them, in my body. I wasn't surprised to see him since Connie had mentioned that she had called Rangeman.

As I walked over to the group, I glanced over to the entrance of the bank. Motorcycles were pulled up to the entrance. I recognized emblems painted on the motorcycles. The motorcycles belonged to a motorcycle gang called the Brotherhood of the Coffins. They have been creating havoc up and down the East Coast. Rangeman Boston and Rangeman Atlanta have each had run-ins with some of the members of the gang. Two of my men in the Atlanta office will be spending the next few months in physical therapy , from the gunshot wounds that suffered after attempting to bring in two members that were FTA. My Boston team learned from Atlanta's mistakes and made the capture when the gang passed through Boston. Needless to say that the Boston team made sure that the two FTA's would also be spending a few months of their own in physical therapy.

"What happened to you?" I asked Morelli, as I walked up to the group. Morelli was sporting a black eye.

"Mats." Morelli answered.

I nodded in understanding. Now thanks to Morelli, the guys will think that I couldn't hold my own on the mats anymore. I'm never going to be able to live it down.

"We need to speak, privately." I told Morelli.

"No time. Steph's in there." Morelli said, attempting to dismiss me.

"Now!" I growled, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him with me. I notice that my men immediately put their hands on their guns, in case they needed to get involved.

"You got a lot of nerve, Manoso." Morelli quietly hissed.

"You're going to need my help with this, but in order for me to do that, you're going to have to order my men to listen to me. I know you don't want to hear this, but I have more experience than you do with this type of thing." I told him.

"I'm going to let Trenton SWAT handle this. I'm just here to make sure that Cupcake gets out of this safely." Morelli replied.

"Tank hasn't told you who's in there, has he?" I asked. "Of course he hasn't. He thinks that you're me and you should already know who they are."

Morelli shook his head and asked, "No, should I?"

"Ever heard of the Brotherhood of the Coffins?" I asked.

Morelli immediately turned as white as a sheet and ran his hand thru his hair. "Of course I have. They have been robbing banks up and down the entire east coast. Members of that gang are suspects in at least a dozen murders, starting with New York, all the way down to Florida. Do you know how Stephanie got involved in this?"

"Connie called. One of her skips works in the bank as a teller." I explained.

"I can't believe I'm asking you this, but what do you suggest we do?" Morelli asked.

"We need Hector to access the security cameras, so we can learn exactly how many people are in there and what their positions are. I'm sure Hector has loaded a copy of the buildings blueprints on a laptop. We can use those to decide the best way to get in the building undetected and immobilize the threat while the negotiators distract the gang members." I told him.

"By immobilize, do you mean….?" Morelli paused, unable to finish his question.

This is typical Morelli. He automatically assumed that my plan was to go in there and start a killing spree. "Despite what you think of me and my men, we don't kill unless it's to protect or self defense. We prefer the judicial system to make handle the punishment. But understand this….. I will do whatever is necessary to protect Babe, at all costs." I once told Babe that there is no price for what we give each other. I never told her that I would willingly pay any price to protect her, ever if it means giving up my life in exchange for hers.

"Maybe we should left Tank and the others handle this. If something happened and one of us gets killed we'll never be able to switch back." He suggested, nervously.

"My men and I are a team, even if I am trapped in your body. If you're worried about getting hurt you can wait out here with Hector, but I'm going in." I said determinedly. "I need to make sure that Babe gets out safely."

"Are you sure that's wise? How do you know that our team will trust you while you're in my body? I've heard exactly what they think of me over the last few days." Morelli said.

It was a fair question. While we have been able to work together in the past, my men have never trusted Morelli. However, my men always follow my orders. "If you tell them to trust me, they will." I explained.

"I still don't think that we should be going in, but if you're going in so am I." Morelli said. "I want to get Steph out safely, but I also need to make susre you don't do anything stupid, like jump in front of a bullet while you're in my body."

"I can't promise that. If a bullet is meant for Babe, I'll do anything I can to protect her. But I need you to promise me that if something happens in there to me, that you will take care of her." I tell him.

"Trust me. Regardless of how this turns out, I will be the one taking her of her. I would just prefer to take care of her in my own body, instead of yours." Morelli said.

Morelli and I walked over to join the others. Hector was sitting in the back of one of the Rangeman surveillance vans. He had the blueprints pulled up on the large monitor and the security feeds pulled up on the other five monitors.

"_The Coffins found the obvious security cameras and disabled them. They didn't find the smaller, well hidden cameras. They have no idea that we can still watch them."_ Hector explained.

It was obvious that Morelli had no idea what Hector had just said.

"Uh….maybe we should do this in English, since not everyone here understands Spanish." Morelli requested.

"What about Morelli? We're not including him in this, are we?" Lester asked, glaring at me.

"We can trust him." Morelli said, glancing at me. "He could probably be useful in getting Stephanie out safely."

"Hector said that the Coffins only took out half of the security cameras." Lester said, rolling his eyes. I would say that Lester rolling his eyes meant that he's been spending too much time with Babe, by since Diesel switched me and Morelli, I've picked up the habit, myself.

"Do we have confirmation that Stephanie's in the bank?" I asked.

"They separated her from the rest of the hostages. She's closer to the guys filling the bags with money. We think that they've recognized her. They have her tied up. They still have their motorcycle helmets on, so we're not sure which member of the gang that we are dealing with." Tank explained.

"I need Maalox!" Morelli announced, marching off to his truck and swinging the truck door open.

Morelli had just walked up next to me when I heard one of the members of the SWAT team ask one of the cops, "What's wrong with Morelli and Manoso? Normally Morelli is the one yelling, waving his arms around, and jugging Maalox. Ranger's usually the calm and completely in control. It's like they changed personalities."

I glanced over at Morelli to see if he had overheard the comment. The shocked expression on his face let me know that he had heard every word. "Do people really see me like that?" Morelli asked me in a whisper.

I shrugged. To be honest, I can't recall anytime that Morelli hasn't acted like that when Stephanie was in trouble. According to Babe, I haven't behaved much better recently. I may not walk around yelling and demanding Maalox, but that still didn't excuse my behavior.

"Let's work on a plan to rescue Stephanie and everyone else out safely, instead of worrying about how people see out behavior." I said.

It didn't take us long to come up with a plan to rescue Babe. Once everyone was suited up with the necessary communication devices and weapons, Tank gave the okay to the Trenton P.D. hostage negotiator to make contact with the gang in the bank.


	15. Chapter 15

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

Chapter 15

Steph's POV

Most women in my position would be in tears right now. But here I am, the only hostage in the bank that they bothered to tie up. Everyone else gets to lay flat on their stomach with their eyes on the floor. Since I was recognized as a bounty hunter, they decided to tie me up. The reporter that puts all those pictures of me covered in garbage and articles about my car fires is going to regret the day he ever heard of Stephanie Plum.

On the bright side these guys don't even know how to tie someone up right. I should know as many times as I've been tied up by stalkers and skips. Anyone who knows anything should know that you always tie a person's hands behind their back, not in front.

At least I can say that my life is never boring, ridiculous maybe, but never boring. I can hear my mother now, 'Isabella Lombardi's daughter, Elena, never gets taken hostage in a bank'. Well mom, Linda Perry's daughter, Darla is also being held hostage, I think as I mentally stick out my tongue. Yeah, I know, I probably won't actually say that to my mother, but I can definitely think it.

"We got company!" The guy acting as the lookout calls out. He must be the newest member of the gang since the rest keep calling him, Newbie.

"What kind of company?" The ringleader asked.

"Looks like we got some cops, the SWAT team, and a bunch of really big guys dressed in all black." Newbie answered.

Men in black! Ranger and the rest of the Merry Men are here! I'm torn between feeling relief and annoyance since I've been trying to avoid Ranger.

"How…how are we going to get out of here?" Newbie asked.

"Why did we have to bring the new guy?" The guy whose sole purpose was apparently to point a gun at me asked. "Hey, Rocco?"

"What? I'm busy!" The ringleader said as he shoved money into the duffle bags.

"Maybe we should keep this bounty hunter chick. The boss would probably appreciate a new toy." He said.

Why does every man I meet automatically think that I'm a toy to be played with?

"Not a bad idea, Axel. Giving her to the boss could get us some bonus point with the boss." Rocco agreed.

"And if I don't want to go with you or your boss?" I asked.

"Aw, Sugar. We want you to fight back. The boss loves it when you fight back. It gives him an excuse to use his knife." Axel laughed.

My thoughts immediately flash back to the time that I found Lula on my fire escape. Benito Ramirez had beaten and left her for dead. The doctor told her that her body had so many trauma that she would probably never be able to have children. Lula still has nightmares about what he put her thru.

"Can I make a suggestion?" I asked.

"Sugar, I can think of more than a few suggestions that I could help you with." Axel said, leaning down and running his hand along my cheek.

"Hands off!" Rocco yelled. "You're the one that suggested that we give her to the boss. He won't like it if we give him damaged goods!"

"You're no fun!" Axel yelled back, as he stood up. "What's your suggestion, Sugar?"

"You could surrender and let us all go. My cousin owns a bonds office. I could get him to post your bail. You wouldn't even need collateral. Then all of could take off. Just disappear. There's no reason anyone has to get hurt. Your boss probably wouldn't even like me." I suggested. I didn't bother to point out that the odds of a judge setting bail, was unlikely. Even if a judge was willing to set bail, there was not way that Ranger would let anyone bond these guys out. I was hoping that luck was on my side and that these guys would be too dumb to realize it.

"Trust me, Sugar. If anyone gets hurt, it won't be one of us. We never surrender and we're not about to start now." Axel chuckled.

"M…M…Maybe we should listen to her." The Newbie suggested.

"Any maybe you should learn to shut up and do as you're told." Jerry snapped.

"Fine, have it your way. I was just trying to help." I said. Well, they can't say I didn't try to warn them.

"Hey, Rocco?" One of the other guys asked. "How are we going to get out of here?"

"We're going to have to use the hostages as body shields. The cops won't risk a bullet hitting a hostage. We can dump them after we get out of Trenton." Rocco explained. "We can use the hostages to carry the cash so we won't have to."

The bank's phone began to ring.

"Sh…should we answer that?" Newbie asked.

Rocco answered the phone. "We're coming out with hostages. We have a guy watching the bank from the outside. If you make any attempt to shoot or follow us, he'll blow up the building, killing the rest of the hostages. Once were far enough away, we'll drop the rest of the hostages somewhere outside of Trenton. This is not negotiable." Rocco slammed the phone down, not waiting for an answer. "Those idiots won't give us any trouble when we try to leave. They think we got someone watching the bank waiting to blow it up and kill the rest of the hostages."

"Don't you?" I asked.

"No, but they don't know that." Rocco laughed.

I need to buy Ranger, the Merry Men, and the Trenton P.D. more time. I've been in enough situations to know that any hostages forced to go with the gang, probably won't be found alive later.

"I need to pee!" I announced.

"Not our problem, Sugar." Axel glared.

"Fine, but if I pee all over one of your motorcycles, it's your fault." I warned.

"Take her to the bathroom. I don't want here peeing all over my bike." Rocco ordered. "Just make sure that there are no windows that she can climb out of first."

Axel grabbed me by my shirt and set me on my feet. "Where's the bathroom?" He asked.

"How should I know? This isn't my bank." I told him.

"If this isn't your bank, then why are you here?" He asked.

"I was picking up a FTA, not that it's any of your business." I glared.

"Where's the bathroom?" He called out.

An older man that I didn't recognized raised his head and pointed to a hallway off the side of the lobby. "The employee restrooms are that way." He told Axel.

"Well, what are you waiting on? Let's go!" Axel said, attempting to drag me towards the restroom, causing me to fall flat on my face.

"I can't walk unless you untie me." I said, rolling my eyes.

"You can forget that. I'll just carry you." He said grabbing me and throwing me over his shoulder. He carried me to the restroom. He used his foot to kick the restroom door open and roughly placed me on my feet.

"Well? What are you waiting on? Use the bathroom." Axel ordered.

"Could you please untie me? I don't want to accidently pee on myself. It's not like I can escape. There are no windows or doors that lead to the outside." I pleaded.

"I'm starting to think that you're more trouble than you're worth." He said bending down to untie the rope around my ankles and then my hands. I would have used the opportunity to use my famous knee on him, but what good would that do? I would still have to get passed the other five guys out there and I didn't want to risk putting the other hostages in more danger than we already were.

"Um…I can't pee with an audience. Would you mind waiting outside?" I asked.

"You've got to be kidding me? Hurry up and don't even think about trying anything." Axel said stepping out of the restroom and shutting the door.

I immediately started to look for something that I could use as a weapon. As usual, I left my gun in the cookie jar in my apartment. I wanted to find something that was small enough that I could hide it under my clothing until we were a safe distance from the bank. The problem was that I couldn't find anything that I could use to defend myself, unless I wanted to toilet paper their motorcycles.

To make matters worse, now I really needed to use the bathroom.

"What's taking you so long?" Axel yelled thru the door.

"Uh…I'm on my period. I'm looking for a tampon in the supply cabinet." I lied, knowing that anytime a woman even mentions a period, it freaks guys out. I even made Ranger uncomfortable one day when I complained about cramps to Lula. It serves him right for breaking into my apartment, and sneaking up behind me when I was on the phone with Lula.

"I really didn't need to know that." Axel replied.

I finally couldn't stand it any longer and went into a stall to relieve myself. I opened the stall door and found Ranger leaning against the sink.

"Oh my God!" I whispered. "Where did you come from?" There was no tingle alerting me to his presence. Why didn't I feel the tingle?

"You need to settle down and quit getting into these messes, Cupcake." Ranger said.

I know I didn't just hear him call me Cupcake.

"Not that I don't appreciate you being here, but did you just call me Cupcake?" I hissed as quietly as I could. I might be mad, but I'm not stupid. There are six guys in that bank lobby that are heavily armed and I didn't want to be the one that alerted them that Ranger was in the bank.

"We used the air ventilation system. Old buildings like this one have older system with large duct work. We accessed the duct system from the roof. We were just lucky that you happened to be in the bathroom where there was a large enough vent return for us to fit through." Ranger said, pointing at the ceiling above the sink. That's when I felt the tingle and noticed that Morelli was lowering himself from the air vent. Why is my radar off? It alerted me to Morelli's presence, but not Ranger's. Maybe I'm coming down with something. I placed my hand on my forehead to check for fever.

"Babe." Joe greeted me.

Wait a minute.

Ranger said Cupcake…

Joe said Babe…

DIESEL!

"Have you guys seen Diesel lately?" I asked.

They both nodded.

"Did Diesel do to you what I think that Diesel did to you?" I asked, looking back and forth between Ranger and Joe.

"Babe." Joe said.

"Ranger?" I said looking at Joe. He nodded, confirming my suspicion.

"Your friend Diesel is some kind of freak." Ranger said, or should I say, Joe in Ranger's body.

"So….this morning when I thought I was talking to Joe, I was actually talking to Ranger?" I asked.

Joe, I mean, Ranger nodded.

"Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God!" I said bending over in an attempt to make the room stop spinning.

"What's taking you so long?" Axel demanded as he stormed into the restroom. I never got a chance to answer him, because Joe, I mean Ranger, punched him, knocking him out.

"This is confusing." I said as Ranger and Joe used the ropes that were used on me to tie up Axel. The real Ranger also used a pair of handcuffs to cuff Axel to the pipes under the sink to ensure that he couldn't escape.

"Try living it." Ranger said (or should I say Joe said in Ranger's body). "Take his gun and stay here."

"Are you trying to tell me what to do?" I glared as I took the gun from him.

"Somebody needs to, Cupcake." He replied.

"No way. There are five more guys out there." I argued.

"Hector and Lester should be in place on the other side of bank lobby. They dropped into a loan officer's office. Tank wanted to come, but he couldn't fit into the ventilation system." Joe, I mean Ranger explained.

"Babe, wait here until it's clear." The real Ranger told me. "Please?"

He knows I can't say no when he says please.

"Fine." I reluctantly agree.

Then he touched the communication device on his ear. "She's safe. She was in the restroom we dropped in." The paused and waited for a response. "Let's go."

"Don't get shot." I said.

"Don't go crazy." The real Ranger replied with a slight grin as he and the real Joe headed out into the lobby. That was weird hearing Ranger say that with Joe's voice.

Ranger and Joe headed out of the bathroom towards the lobby. I know that I promised that I would stay here until they cleared the lobby, but I didn't think it would hurt if I stayed in the hall. You never know, they could need my help.

I waited a few minutes before I quietly snuck into the hallway, and walked towards the lobby. I peaked around the corner so that I could see what was going on. All five of the other guys were sitting on the floor, lined up. Wow! It didn't take Ranger. Joe, Lester, and Hector long to subdue them. Most of the hostages were beginning to stand up and hug each other relieved that everything was over. I noticed one of the other female hostages was standing over to the side near where the Ranger and Joe had apparently piled bank robbers' guns. I started to walk into the lobby when I saw a woman grab one of the guns that bank robbers had been using. It took less than a second for her to aim and fire the gun.

"No!" I yelled as I raised my gun and shot at the same time. The 'hostage' fell to the ground. I dropped my gun and ran over to the only man I've truly ever loved.

"Get Bobby!" I yelled as I ran over and put pressure on the gunshot wound located where his neck met his shoulder. I was crying uncontrollably as I yelled, "Don't you dare die on me! You're not allowed to die and leave me here alone! Do you hear me? Don't you dare die!"


	16. Chapter 16

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

Chapter 16

Joe's POV

I woke to the annoying sound of a heart monitor beeping. I looked at my watch, and saw that it was just before midnight. I have been sitting in this chair for hours. Stephanie was sitting across the room with her chair pulled up next to Manoso's bed. She hasn't said a word since we arrived at the hospital.

By the time I arrived at the hospital, Manoso was already in surgery. I wished that I could say that I was shocked when the doctor came out and asked to speak to the person that held the power of attorney. Bobby had to help her stand up and walk over to the doctor. I'm not sure what the doctor told her, but she nodded and the doctor headed back to the operating room. That was the most anyone has got out of her since. One of the Manoso's men, the one with the tattoo on his forehead, offered to go to Pino's and pick up a meatball sub for her. She didn't even acknowledge that she spoke to her. That was hours ago.

"You fell asleep." Cupcake said. "That's very un-Ranger like. People are going to catch on if you're not aware of your surroundings."

"I didn't mean to doze off. How's he doing?" I asked from the chair I was using in the corner of the room. I looked over to my sleeping form in the hospital bed. Ranger had been shot by a female member of the motorcycle gang. She had been posing as a bank customer so that she could back up the guys if anything went wrong during the robbery.

"Doctor said that he expected Ranger to make a full recovery. Did you notice that he was shot in the same spot as when Scrog shot him?" She asked.

Manoso had almost died when he was shot by that lunatic that kidnapped his daughter. I remember that night well…too well. That night was the first time the Stephanie had ever said the she loved me. It was also the night that I realized that her relationship with Manoso extended beyond friendship. In all the years I've known Stephanie, I had never seen her as upset as she was that night. She had been inconsolable. No matter how many times I tried to get her to leave the hospital that night, she refused until she knew that he would be okay. Even then, Bobby had to threaten to sedate her so she could get some rest. As upset as she was that night, it doesn't come close to how upset she is now.

To everyone at the scene, Stephanie looked like the distraught ex-girlfriend of a Trenton Police Detective. To me she was the woman scared of losing the only man she ever truly loved.

And that man was not me.

Over the years, I have done everything possible to deny the connection between them. But now, sitting in this hospital room, I can't deny it any longer.

I reached up and felt the scar on my neck, or should I say Ranger's neck. "I guess it's a good thing that he was in my body. It can't be good to be shot in the same place twice."

"Probably not." She paused. "He woke up about a half hour ago. The nurse was checking his monitors. All he had time was to whisper 'Babe' before she injected a sedative into his I.V. She said that he needed to rest."

"That's probably a good thing. He needs to rest so that my body can heal." I agreed.

"Close the door." Stephanie ordered.

I stood up and walked over to the hospital room door and closed it.

"Joe, we need to talk." She said.

"It can wait." I told her. I had a feeling that I knew what she wanted to say and while I knew it was true, I still wasn't ready to hear it.

"No, Joe. It can't." She said, as she continued to sit by his side and hold his hand. "I love him, Joe. I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. It doesn't even matter if he loves me back or not. I love him and it's not fair to you if I try to deny it any longer."

I probably shouldn't, but I decided to make one last ditch effort to get her to change her mind. "He can't give you a normal life, Cupcake."

"Since when is my life normal? I'm not interested in having a normal life, at least not by 'Burg standards." She signed. "There's no doubt in my mind that I would go crazy if I tried to be normal."

""But Cupcake…" I began.

"Joe," she interrupted. "You want a wife with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. That's your idea of happiness, not mine."

"I wanted those things with you." I said. I could feel my heart breaking and it was killing me inside.

"Joe, if I gave in and married you, we would both end up miserable. We would end up resenting each other before our first anniversary and divorced before our second. We both deserve a chance of happiness." Stephanie explained.

"Are you planning on telling him that you love him?" I asked.

Stephanie laughed quietly. "I will, if I don't chicken out. I sort of skirted around the issue this morning when I thought I was talking to you. I should probably wait until we can get Diesel to switch the two of you back. I would feel kind of awkward telling Ranger how I feel about him while he's still in your body."

"Speaking of Diesel…do you know how to get in contact with him?" I asked.

"He came by my apartment yesterday. He's in New York for a couple of days, chasing one of his skips. He said that he would come back by Trenton as soon as he catches the guy." She told me.

"I got to be honest, Cupcake. As much as I'm looking forward to getting my own body back, I'm not looking forward to the physical therapy. Manoso gets shot and becomes the superhero, and I'm going to get to endure the physical therapy." I laugh at my lame attempt of a joke.

Stephanie looked at me and smiled. "You're a superhero too, Joe. You're Super Cop. I'm just more of a Batman kind of girl."

"You know, I've heard you and the girls at the Bond's office call him Batman countless times. I'm beginning to think that you're right with that comparison." I said, sitting back down in the chair. "I need to confess something to you, Cupcake."

"You do?" She asked.

"Yeah, I do." I signed as I ran my hand thru my hair. "Ever since the switch, I've been looking for any evidence that I could use against Manoso. I wanted something that I could use to turn you against him. Do you know what I found? Nothing…absolutely nothing. I haven't been able to find anything on him, or any of his men. I'm starting to think that you're right about them. They really are stand up guys."

"I've been telling you that for years." Stephanie said with a small smile.

"Yeah, I know. I just didn't want to listen. You're not the only one that likes to live in denial." I grinned. "Every single one of them is very protective of you."

"Yes they are. I heard that you were called to the mats." She laughed. "I also heard that you didn't last too long."

"I know those guys don't like me, but do you think that Manoso would let me use the Rangeman gym. I hate to admit it, but I think that I could learn a few things."

Stephanie stood up, walked over and hugged me. "You really have learned something from this experience, haven't you?"

"Yeah, I guess I have." I nodded as I returned the hug.

"Babe?" Ranger said, groggily.

"You're awake." Stephanie said as she rushed over to his side.

"Why don't you run down to the nurse's station and get you some coffee. I need to speak to Joe for a moment." He asked.

"But I…" She started.

"Please, Babe? I only need a few minutes." He told her.

"Alright. Do you want some medicine for the pain? I could bring a nurse back with me." She asked.

"No, not right now." He answered.

"How about you, Joe?" She asked. "Need some coffee?"

"That would be great, Cupcake."

Stephanie walked towards the hospital room door. She hesitated and glanced back before walking out of the room. I can't really blame her for her hesitation, Manoso and I don't have the best history of being able to see eye to eye.

"So, exactly how long have you been awake?" I asked.

"Since she asked you to close the door." Manoso said with a half grin.

"I'm not usually one to apologize but since it's my fault you were shot, I'm sorry. You told me to secure the weapons but I didn't do a thorough job of securing them. I just kicked them out of the way." I explained.

"You had no way of knowing that they had someone inside." Manoso grimaced as he attempted to shrug. "Besides, it's your body that took the bullet. This whole body switch thing has both of us off balanced."

"Yeah, but it could have got you killed. No offense Manoso, but I want my own life back." I told him.

"Understandable." He agreed.

"Listen, since I know that I've already lost her, I'm going to step aside gracefully. But if you hurt her, I'll be waiting to pick up the pieces." I warned him.

"I have no intention of messing this up. I've already done that and I don't plan on doing that again." Manoso said. "Truce?"

"Truce." I agreed.

We heard a quiet knocked, followed by Stephanie asking, "Is it safe to come back in? I've had more than enough excitement for one day."

"It's safe." I said, taking a cup of coffee from her. "I think that I'll head home for the night. You two probably want to talk and I don't need to be a third wheel."

Manoso nodded.

"Listen, just to give the two of you a heads up. Most of the nurses on duty live in the 'Burg." I warned.

"Yeah, Susie Siletti was pumping me for information at the nurse's station." Stephanie laughed.

"I'll come back in the morning." I promised, giving Cupcake a kiss on the cheek before I walked out the door.

I never thought I'd say this, but I really hope that I wake up in a hospital bed in the morning.


	17. Chapter 17

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun. May contain spoilers to the Wicked series.

Chapter 17

Diesel's POV

I was on my way back to Trenton in my silver Porsche Turbo. I have to admit that I was pretty proud of myself since I caught my unmentionable skip in less than 48 hours. It was one of the easy assignments I ever had. I have to admit that it was kind of nice to search for someone that didn't have a connection to the SALIGIA stones. It was also nice to not have to deal with my cousin, Wulf.

I was almost to Trenton when I got a call from Simone from the Special Circumstances Division at headquarters.

"Hello, Darling. Miss me already?" I teased.

"Absolutely not! Do you remember when I told you that I would deny helping you if anything went wrong with your little switching project?" She asked.

"Of course. I even left notes to remind the guys to be extra careful and not to take any chances that could cause either of them to get hurt." I replied. "Why?"

"I swear, Diesel. Whenever I agree to help with any of your little side projects, it always leads to trouble. I should have known better than to agree to this. If this gets anymore FUBAR, I'll deny I had any knowledge of the switch." Simone complained.

"What's the problem?" I asked.

'Out of curiosity, would either of the guys be the type that generally doesn't like being told what to do?" Simone asked.

"One of the guys is a know-it-all cop and the other is a former Army Ranger. What do you think?" I asked.

"I was afraid of that. It looks like we may have a problem." Simone told me.

"What kind of a problem?" I asked. If something went wrong, Stephanie is going to want to kill me.

"I overheard someone in the break room mention that you were sent on an emergency call to New York. I decided to send one of the new agents to Trenton to monitor the situation. I thought that it couldn't hurt to have a set of eyes on the situation since you had to leave town." Simone explained.

Normally I would be offended that someone was sent to check up on my work, but since this involved Stephanie, it probably was a good idea. Things have a tendency to get out of hand whenever she's involved. Don't get me wrong, most of the time it's not her fault, but she's a magnet for trouble.

"Anyway," Simone continued. "I just received a call from Pulse."

"You sent Pulse to check up on my work? That little twerp only completed training less than a month ago. He can't handle a city like Trenton. It's a hot bed of unmentionable activity." I complained. Pulse's real name is Michael Day. He's sort of like a human lie detector. Whenever someone lies it causes a slight spike in their pulse rate, hence the nickname.

"You're missing the point, Diesel. I didn't send him until this morning. By the time he arrived in Trenton, it was already too late." Simone explained.

"What was too late?" I asked, knowing that whatever the answer, it wouldn't be good.

"Apparently, that female bounty hunter friend of yours went to pick up one of her FTAs at a local bank. A few minutes after she entered the bank, a motorcycle gang attempted to rob it. Both of your guys insisted on being part of the rescue. One of your guys was shot and rushed to the hospital. I should have known better than to help you." Simone grumbled.

Yep, I was right. This isn't good. "If you sent Pulse this morning, why are you just calling me with this information now?" I asked.

"I called you as soon as I got off the phone with Pulse. Trust me, I've already read him the riot act for waiting so long to call me." Simone said.

"So which one was shot and did he survive?" I grimaced.

"Pulse didn't give me a name. The hospital is trying to keep everything on the down low. He's working on finding out which one was hurt right now. He stole a uniform and is posing as an orderly at St. Francis Hospital. He's hoping that he can ease drop and learn some more information." Simone explained. "As of right now all we know that your guy survived, but he hasn't been able to find out if his heart stopped at any point."

"Why would his heart stopping be an issue? He's alive, so there shouldn't be any issues." I reasoned.

"Are you kidding me? I know that we don't do these type of switches very often, but you've been with the agency long enough to know the consequences. If someone heart stops at some point during the switch, it means that they technically died. It doesn't matter if it's for a few minutes or a few seconds. Dead is still dead, even if they were able to revive him. If one of their hearts stops, it can prevent them from ever switching back." Simone explained.

"Wait a minute. I want to make sure that I understand this. They could be stuck in each other's bodies permanently?" I asked.

"You got it! Give the man a prize!" Simone said sarcastically.

I ended the call and threw my phone in the passenger seat. The powers that be should have sent Pulse to pick up this skip instead of me. Maybe if I had stayed in Trenton I could have prevented this, or a least help rescue Stephanie. Sometimes management forgets what it's like to work in the field. Instead of doing things the easy way, they always want to follow the proper channels, which creates more work for me.

I pulled into the parking lot at St. Francis Hospital. It was after visiting hours when I entered the hospital. I knew the quickest way of finding out where to go would be flirting with a hot little nurse. I quickly spotted a petit redhead with just the right amount of curves in all the right places. It didn't take me long to find out the floor and room number I needed.

As soon as I stepped off the elevator I spotted Pulse smiling as he shook hands with the Bobby Brown, the Rangeman medic. As I walked up, Bobby nodded to me as he left, choosing to take the stairs instead of the elevator.

"It looked like you and Brown are old friends." I commented. "How do you know him?"

" Bobby? He's some type of distant cousin. Our grandmother's were sisters. I haven't seen him since our family reunion, about five years ago. I didn't even know he lived in Trenton now. Small world, huh?" Pulse grinned.

"Does he have any idea what's going on?" I asked.

"He realizes that something weird is going on, but he's not sure what it is. He's been here taking care of the Bounty Hunter chick. I think Bobby said her name was Stephanie. She hasn't said a much of anything since she got here. The only reason he's leaving now is because his boss left, he told him to go home and get some rest." Pulse explained. "That was a couple of hours ago. He didn't want to leave Stephanie here alone, but she finally convinced him that she would be alright."

"That wasn't his boss." I told him.

"Yeah, I kind of figured that." He smiled.

"So Morelli was the one shot? Has his family caused any problems?" I asked.

"His mom and grandmother were here earlier. A couple of local cops convinced them to go home and get some rest after the grandmother threatened to put 'the eye' on Stephanie. She blames Stephanie for getting her grandson shot." Pulse explained. "I'm beat. You need me to stick around?"

"Go get some rest, but stay in Trenton. I may need you to use your ability on Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum if they haven't got their act together." I told him.

"You got it. Call me if you need me. I'm going back to my hotel and get some rest. See ya tomorrow." Pulse said heading towards the elevator.

When I reached the hospital room, I opened the door and said, "Knock, knock." I didn't was to actually knock on the door, since Manoso was probably resting.

"Diesel!" Stephanie quietly exclaimed, as she stood up and walked over to greet me. "I can't decide if I want to strangle you or hug you."

"I vote for the hug." I said wrapping my arms around her.

"How did you know we were at the hospital?" She asked.

"I got a call from headquarters." I explained.

"Now that you're here, can you switch us back?" Manoso asked.

"Yeah, Ranger and I need to talk and I'd rather not do it while he's in Joe's body." Stephanie chimed in.

"We need to talk about that, but first I need to ask you some questions." I told Manoso. "First, have you and Morelli learned anything from this experience?"

"Morelli and I have come to an understanding." Manoso nodded.

"Good, at least something good came out of all of this." I said, leaning against the hospital wall. "Second, I need to know if your heart stopped at any point after you were shot." I asked Manoso.

"I'm not sure. Why?" He replied. "Babe, did the doctor say anything about restarting my heart?'

"I was so upset that I really can't remember what the doctor said to me." Stephanie explained, before turning to me. "Why would it matter? The doctor said that he expects Ranger to make a full recovery. Well, actually he said Joe instead of Ranger, but you know what I mean."

"I want to state for the record that I left a note for you and Joe, reminding you to be careful. I also told both of you if something bad happened to either of you the switch could become permanent." I said to Manoso.

"Are you trying to tell us that because Ranger was shot while he was in Joe's body that they can't switch back now?" Stephanie asked on the verge of tears.

"Simone said that it would only be a problem if his heart stopped." I explained.

"Babe, calm down. It'll be okay." Manoso said, motioning for her to sit on the hospital bed so he could wrap his uninjured arm around her.

"But what if you and Joe can't switch back? What about Rangeman? What about your family? They won't know who you are." Stephanie said with tears streaming down her face. "You won't be able to go 'in the wind' anymore. I know that you love the adrenaline rush that you get when you go on missions."

'We'll figure everything out. We don't know if my heart stopped or not. There may be nothing to worry about." He told her. "And as far as going 'in the wind', it shouldn't be an issue. I wanted to wait to discuss this with you when I was back in my own body, but that part of my life is over. I've fulfilled my contract." Manoso explained.

"No more going 'in the wind'?" Stephanie asked.

"No more 'in the wind'." Manoso grinned. "But we can discuss this more later. Right now we need to find out if my heart stopped in the ambulance or during surgery."

"Should we call Bobby?" Stephanie asked. "He talked to the doctor for me after your surgery. The doctor might have told him."

"Babe, I think that we should ask one the nurses instead of Bobby. If we call Bobby now he'll want to know why we need to know in the middle of the night. I'd rather not explain to him why we need to know. He might suggest that we need to tour the pysch ward." Manoso explained.

Manoso pushed the button to call the nurse's station. A few seconds later an older woman wearing a nurse's uniform walked in carrying a chart

"How can I help you, Mr. Morelli? Do you need something for the pain?" She asked.

"No. I prefer to not take pain killers if I can help it. I actually have a question that I would like answered. Does my file say if my heart stopped at any point on the ambulance ride over here or during my surgery?" He asked.

"Let's see." The nursed looked over his chart. "It says here that your heart stopped at one point during surgery. The doctor was preparing to shock you, but before he did your heart began beating on its own again. Are you sure that you don't need something for the pain. You just turned white as a sheet."

"No, no pain killers." He replied.

"Anything else, Mr. Morelli?" The nurse asked.

"No, you were very helpful. Thank you."

"I'll be back to check on you in about an hour. If you change your mind about something for pain, let me know." She said, before exiting the room.

"Does this mean that Ranger is stuck in Joe's body forever?" Stephanie asked.

"I refuse to accept that as an answer. I think that I'll pop into headquarters see if I can pull some strings, maybe call in a few favors. There has to be someone that can help straighten all this out. Don't give up hope." I told her. "I'll call or come by when I have something figured out."

"Diesel, fix this." Stephanie pleaded.

"Anything for you, Sunshine." I promised.


	18. Chapter 18

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun. May contain spoilers to the Wicked series.

I apologize for not getting this chapter out yesterday. Real life got in the way. I hope to be back on schedule tomorrow.

Chapter 18

Steph's POV

After Diesel left the hospital, I had a hard time falling asleep. I spent most of my time staring at Ranger in Joe's body. I guess I was looking for some type of sign that they would switch back. I'm not sure what I was expecting to happen. I guess I thought that maybe I would see his body levitate or something, so that I could know that things were back to normal. All I do know was that I was desperate for some type of sign.

I must have dozed off at some point because I woke up with my head resting on the mattress of Ranger's hospital bed and someone stroking my hair.

"Good morning." I said as I yawned.

"Good morning, Cupcake." Joe said, as he grinned at me.

I snapped to attention. If I wasn't awake before, I was definitely awake now.

"Did you just say…..? Are you…..?" I stammered.

'Yeah, Cupcake. It's me." Joe said with a full blown smile.

"How? When?" I questioned.

"Honestly, I'm not sure when it happened. I remember going to sleep in Manoso's apartment. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in this hospital bed."

"But Diesel told us…." I continued to stammer.

"That Diesel guy was here?" Joe asked. "Is he still here?"

"No, he left a few hours ago. He went to look for some type of loop hole so that you and Ranger could switch back. Ranger's heart, or should I say that your heart, stopped beating during the surgery. Diesel told us that it could prevent the two of you from switching back." I explained.

"Well, it obviously wasn't a problem because I'm back." Joe said.

A knock on the hospital room door interrupted us.

"Excuse me." Darla said from the door way. She smiled shyly at Joe as she said, "I wanted to stop by and to say thank you for coming to our rescue yesterday. I know how awful hospital food is, so I thought I would bring breakfast with me. I made a breakfast casserole and some fresh cinnamon rolls. I wasn't sure if you would feel up to eating anything or not."

"Darla, why don't you come in? You can sit in my chair next to Joe's bed. I'm sure Joe would love the opportunity catch up with you. Wouldn't you Joe?" I said, hoping that I wasn't being too obvious, but Joe would still get the hint.

"Have a seat, Darla." Joe said as he gave Darla a blinding smile. I don't think it's going to take Joe long to move on.

"You know what? I think that there's someplace that I need to be. I'll leave the two of you alone so that you can catch up." I said giving Joe a knowing smile, as I began to back out of the room.

"Stephanie, would you like to take a cinnamon roll with you?" Darla asked as she sat the casserole and cinnamon rolls on the roll-a-way table next to Joe's bed.

"No thanks." I said and then paused. "Oh who am I kidding? Of course I want one." Or maybe two I said grabbing a couple from the plate. Hopefully, the cinnamon will help cover the bad case of morning breath that I'm sure I'm suffering from. I had the first one ate before I even stepped out of Joe's room.

I hurried down the hallway, towards the elevators, as I stuffed the second cinnamon roll in my mouth. Yeah, I realize that I'm probably going to be sick later, but I couldn't remember eating anything since before the robbery yesterday. I was almost to the elevators when the door leading to the stairs swung opening and the most beautiful sight I've ever seen came rushing out.

"Ranger!" I yelled, entirely too loud, considering that I was in a hospital at 6:30 in the morning.

"Babe!" He replied as he wrapped me in his arms and kissed me. "Yum, cinnamon."

"Your back!" I said as I tucked my face into his neck.

"I remember the nurse injecting me with a sedative to help me sleep, even though I asked her not to, after Diesel left. The next thing I remember is waking up in my apartment on seven." Ranger said giving me a smile that made Joe's look dim in comparison.

"I have so much that I want to tell you." I said as Ranger continued to hug me.

"Me too, but we should probably have this conversation without an audience." Ranger said, nodding his head towards a group of nurses that were watching us.

Actually, I think that they were drooling over Ranger and didn't even realize that I was there. I laughed as I told me, "They can't help it, Ranger. Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror? I'm surprised that t he nurses aren't fainting like a preteen at a One Direction concert."

"Babe." Ranger said, raising an eyebrow.

"What? Valerie told me that when she took Angie and Mary Alice back to school shopping in New York last fall, that Angie saw one o them getting into a car outside of a store. Angie got so excited that she fainted. It scared poor Valerie to death." I explained.

"Babe, your gene pool…" Ranger began.

"Yeah, I know. We're scary." I laughed. I probably shouldn't tell him about the time Mary Lou and I had front row tickets to a 98 Degrees concert. Mary Lou fainted when Nick Lachey touched her hand. He would probably think that Mary Lou and I were worse, since we were in out early twenties at the time.

Ranger laughed.

"Did I say that out loud?" I asked.

"Yeah, Babe. Out loud." He smiled.

Before I had a chance to realize what was going on, Ranger threw me over his shoulder in a fireman carry and began to race down the stairs.

"Uh…Ranger? What do you think you're doing?" I asked. If anyone else would have grabbed me and started running down stairs, I would be scared to death. Since it was Ranger, I wasn't worried. I knew he would never let me fall.

"Babe, we'll get to my car faster this way." Ranger explained.

Once I was safely buckled into the passenger seat of Ranger's Porsche, he asked, "Your place or mine?"

"Yours." I replied. "I didn't sleep well last night and you have better sheets."

"Babe." Ranger laughed, as he started the car and sped towards Haywood.


	19. Chapter 19

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun. May contain spoilers to the Wicked series.

A/N: I plan on writing an epilogue, but I'm not sure when I can post it. I plan on posting it on Friday, but we have an impending ice storm and they expect us to lose power so it might not be able to post it until Monday.

Chapter 19

Steph's POV

Ranger and I made it to Haywood and up to his apartment on seven in record time. The moment to door to his apartment closed, Ranger began kissing me as he backed me up against the wall. By the time he broke the kiss, we were both out of breath.

"Ranger, I…" I began, as he led me into the living room. He sat down on his leather couch and pulled me into his lap.

"No, Babe. If you don't mind, I would like to go first." Ranger told me. "Please?"

He knows I can't say no now.

"Uh…sure." I nodded. "But do I still have a toothbrush in your bathroom. I really need to brush my teeth to get rid of my morning breath."

"Morning breath. I hadn't notice." Ranger said nuzzling my neck. "There's probably a new one in there. Ella replaces things like that on a regular basis. Do you want me to call her and order breakfast while you brush your teeth?"

"That sounds wonderful. I've already had those two cinnamon rolls, but I could never turn down Ella's cooking." I said, before hurry to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I found a new pink toothbrush in the top drawer of the vanity. I noticed that I Ella still had my brand of makeup and hair products in Ranger's bathroom. I wonder if Joe noticed that this stuff was in here.

As I brushed my teeth, I began to get nervous about the conversation that I was about to have with Ranger. I wanted to believe that he loved me, but it wouldn't be the first time that he's run hot and cold with me. The last thing I wanted him to do was push me away again.

When I came out of the bathroom, Ranger was sitting on his bed waiting on me.

"Come here, Babe." He said motioning for me to join him. "I asked Ella to wait before she brings breakfast up. I wanted us to be able to talk without being interrupted."

I climbed onto the bed next to Ranger. He quickly moved me over to his lap, before beginning. "Babe….I'm sorry. "

Did Batman just apologize? I'm sure if there was an award for the best impression of a goldfish, I'm pretty sure that I'd win right now.

"Excuse me?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"I said that I'm sorry." He replied. "Since I met you, I've treated you like a yo-yo. I pull you in and then immediately push you away again. It's my fault that you have run back and forth between me and Morelli all this time. If I had been honest with my feelings for you from the beginning, maybe this competition between Morelli and me wouldn't have got this bad." He explained.

"The beginning?" I asked confused.

"Babe, usually I'm the one with the one word sentences." Ranger laughed. "Yes, the beginning. Babe, I never believed in love at first sight. I was always more of a lust at first sight kind of guy. The day I met you in the diner, I tried to convince myself that I what I felt for you was lust, not love. The whole reason I made the Decooch deal was to prove to myself that it was only lust. I thought that if I could get the sexual tension out of the way that I could go on with my life."

Ranger paused for a moment and took a deep breath. I started to open my mouth to say something, but decided against it since I've never heard Ranger say so much at one time in my life. I was afraid if I interrupted that he would lose momentum and never start again.

"The morning after, I could no longer deny that there was more between us. Babe, I've been to some of the most dangerous, God forsaken places on earth. I've been in situations that I should not have made it out alive. Not one of those times have I ever been scared. But that morning, I realized just how deep my feelings are for you. I realized how much I love you and it scared me. Babe, you're not the only one with fight or flight mentality. Instead of fighting for us, I chose flight. I pushed you away and I've regretted ever since." He explained.

"Ranger, it's not your fault, at least not entirely. You're not the only one to push me back to Joe. My mom was constantly encouraging me to marry Joe and have babies. But it's not her fault either. I'm a grown woman. I could have refused to go back to Joe. Instead, I continued an unhealthy cycle of breaking up and getting back together." I reasoned.

"It's not like I gave you much choice in the matter." Ranger said looking deep into my eyes. "I convinced myself that I couldn't give you everything that you deserved. I convinced myself that I could never make you truly happy. I guess I thought that somewhere deep inside that you wanted the whole white picket fence with two kids and a dog."

"I notice that you left husband out of that." I giggled.

"That's because I refused to picture you married to anyone, but me." Ranger smiled. "Babe, I'm still not exactly family material. I will probably always carry two guns and a knife, but I want to give us a chance. I want our someday. And if you decide that one day you do want to get married and have a family, I want to be the one that you do that with."

It was hard by somehow I found the inner strength to keep myself from standing up on the bed and doing a happy dance.

"I want our someday, too." I smiled. "And if I do decide that I want a family, I want that family to be with you."

Ranger lips came crashing down on mine. When he pulled away he said, "Babe, before I came to the hospital this morning, I stopped by my office." Ranger reached down into the side pocket of his cargo pants and pulled out a velvet jewelry box. "This necklace belonged to my Abuela Rosa. When she gave it to me, she told me to give it to the woman I love. She said that it belonged on neck of the woman that made my heart soar. She also told me that I would know who the right woman is when I would do anything in my power to help that woman fly. Babe, I think it's pretty obvious that woman is you."

Ranger opened the box to reveal a beautiful necklace with an angel wing pendant. The wings were extremely detailed and completely breathtaking.

"Oh, Ranger." I gasped. "Can I wear it now?"

"Nothing would make me happier." He said, removing the necklace from the box and placing it around my neck. "I love you, Babe."

"I love you too, Ranger." I smiled.

Ranger leaned in and kissed me. Ranger's kisses have always been full of passion, but this kiss was different. This kiss was not only full of passion, but it was also full of promise of our future together. Unfortunately, we were interrupted by Ranger's cell phone ringing.

"This better be important." Ranger snapped. He listened for a few moments before saying, "Escort him up to seven."

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Diesel's here. Somehow he got up to five undetected. The only reason my men didn't shoot at him was because Tank recognized him. I'm going to call Ella and tell her that there will be one more for breakfast." He told me.

It didn't take long for Diesel to arrive, escorted by Hal. I'm pretty sure that Diesel told him some inappropriate jokes on the elevator ride up, because Hal looked like a combination of uncomfortable and embarrassed. Poor Hal!

Once Diesel entered the apartment and said, "Congratulations!"

"Thanks, it's great to be back in my own body." Ranger said. "But I'm the one that should be thanking you for getting us switched back so quickly."

"Oh, that too." Diesel grinned. "I meant congratulations to both of you for finally admitting how you feel about each other. Unfortunately, I can't take credit for switching you and Morelli back."

"What do you mean? I thought you went back to your headquarters to look for a way to switch Ranger and Joe back." I said.

"Well, I did go back to headquarters and talked with Simone. Remind me to never wake her up in the middle of the night." Diesel shuttered. "Anyway, we were going over the case file she started at the beginning of the switch. When we reached the end of the file, the last sentence said that the switch was reversed. I had nothing to do with it."

"Then how did it reverse?" Ranger asked.

"Simone has a theory. Your heart should not have been able to restart itself, at least not without the help of the doctor. Simone thinks that your soul refused to be trapped in Morelli's body because you wanted to return to your body so you could tell Steph that you wanted a life with her. Simone has decided to call your case file 'True Love Conquers All'." Diesel explained.

I couldn't help but to look at Ranger and smile.

"Listen, I need to get back to Salem, but before I go I wanted to stop in and see your parents. I get a real kick out of the strange looks your father gives me. Do you think that we could run by this morning?" Diesel asked.

I looked over at Ranger, who said, "We could go after breakfast. It would give us a chance to tell your parents about us before the entire 'Burg finds out."

"That sounds good to me, Ranger." I agreed.

"But I think you should start calling me Carlos. Your mother may cross herself if you continue to call me by my street name." He said.

"You want me to call you Carlos?" Diesel asked Ranger. Ranger shot him a death glare which caused Diesel to say, "Relax, I was only kidding. Sunshine, I hope that you can teach him to take a joke."

"Don't count on it, Diesel. I love him just the way he is. If he can't take a joke, it doesn't matter. I would never ask him to change." I said as I wrapped my arms around Carlos waist.

"Babe." Carlos said leaning down and kissing me again.

After a delicious breakfast, Diesel, Ranger, and I headed over to my parent's house. When we arrived my mother was sitting on the front porch, drinking coffee in her robe. I wasn't sure what was going on, but it had to be bad if my mother was willing to risk the 'Burg seeing her in her robe.

"Mom, what are you doing out here?" I asked.

"Your father and grandmother have been arguing all morning. I couldn't take it anymore." She explained. "Right not they're arguing over the bathroom again. Maybe you can talk some sense into them."

Yep, it's bad. I'm pretty sure that she didn't realize that I had brought company with me.

We followed mom into the house. Just like she said Dad and Grandma were arguing over who turn it was to use the bathroom. They were so loud that I was surprised that we didn't hear them outside the house.

"Dad! Grandma! I brought company. Ranger's here! And Diesel came all the way from Salem to see you!" I called out.

Instead of coming downstairs and greeting their guests, as 'Burg manners would dictate, they ignored us and continued to argue.

"Dad! Grandma!" I tried again, before noticing that Diesel was making a call on his cell phone.

"Hey, Simone! It's me again. We need to do another switch…" Diesel said.

Ranger and I looked at each other, in panic, before lunging at Diesel and yelling, "No!"


	20. Chapter 20

The characters belong to JE. I receive nothing from this, but it sure is fun.

**A/N:** I would like to thank everyone for posting reviews. I appreciate every single one of them. I'm not sure when I will post my next story. I have a few ideas in my head. One is a story that involves Mary Lou. I'm also considering writing a Diesel/Lizzie/Wulf story, but I'm not sure if anyone would be interested in the Wicked series. I can't decide which one to write so feel free to voice your opinion.

Chapter 20

Steph's POV

_Three months later…._

A lot has happened since the switch. Carlos and I were able to talk Diesel out of switching Dad and Grandma. I don't think either one of them would have survived being trapped in each other's bodies. Well, Grandma probably would have had a blast, but I couldn't let him put my Dad through that.

Carlos and I had no trouble slipping into a relationship. We spend most of our nights together. And when I spend the night at the Rangeman, I even get up and meet him in the Rangeman gym. I usually go down to the gym about an hour later than he does. A girl needs her rest, especially if she spends most of the night 'exercising' with a Cuban Sex God.

Joe and Darla began dating not long after he was released from the hospital. According to the 'Burg grapevine, rumor has it that Joe has been completely faithful to Darla. Terri, on the other hand, is not very happy with Joe's new relationship. A met Darla for lunch at Pino's last week and she told me that Terry threatened to send some of Vito Grizzoli's goons after her. Darla handled the threat really well. She said that she told Terri that since she worked for a bank that she had access to all kinds of accounts. She also told her that she would hate for certain information to be sent to the FBI and the IRS that could cause trouble for Terri's off shore accounts. I asked her how she knew about the off-shore accounts. She explained that she didn't, it was just the first thing she thought of to get Terri off of her back. It seems that it worked, because Terri hasn't bothered Darla since. I did warn her to watch her back, just to be safe.

Darla also has been cooking for Joe every day since the attempted bank robbery. Joe put on fifteen pounds by the time the doctor cleared him to go back to full duty. As soon as Joe was cleared to do workout, he asked Ranger if he could use the Rangeman gym. Joe uses all of the equipment, but he won't get near the mat. Junior asked him if he was up to sparing yet and Joe turned white as a sheet. It appears that, he's really traumatized from the last time he was called to the mats in Ranger's body.

Carlos decided to hire more employees so that we take more time off to go to Miami to visit Julie. He started with Abby Romano, from the 'Burg. Carlos explained that Abby was looking for a job and asked me if she would be a good fit for Rangeman. He already had Rodriguez run a search on her, but said that he trusted my 'spidey senses' even more than his search programs. I asked him how he knew Abby and about fell off the couch laughing at his explanation. I couldn't believe that he had to suffer through dinner with Grandma Bella. After Abby helped Carlos get out of a Morelli family dinner, I had to give her my seal of approval.

By Abby's second day, all of the Merry Men had tried asking her out, with the exception of Hal. She turned everyone one of them down. I had noticed her and Hal stealing glances at each other during the morning meetings and I quickly decided to give Hal a gentle push in the right direction. I encourage him to ask her on a date for two weeks. Whenever he would get up the nerve on the fifth floor, he could chicken out by the time he reached the first floor. It was so cute how nervous he would get. I finally decided to threaten to use my stun gun on him again if he didn't march down those stairs and ask her out. Needless to say, Hal ran down the stairs and asked. She has really bought Hal out of his shell. I wouldn't be surprised if we hear wedding bells soon, or possibly maybe a baby. I needed to get some things out of the supply closet the other day and walked in on the two of them. As soon as I walked into the supply closet, I had to immediately turn around and walk out. They were so focused on each other that they never noticed the door opening. I immediately had to go find Carlos so we could have some fun of our own in his office. I never did tell Carlos what inspired me to attack him in his office. I didn't want Hal to be embarassed. I did suggest to Abby that they might want to sneak up to Hal's apartment on four. She was mortified that I had seen them, but thanked me for being discreet.

Carlos also introduced me to his entire family about a week after the switch. It nice to know that I'm not the only one with a mother that pushes for their child to get married. Carlos explained to her that even though we've danced around each other for years and that the relationship is still new. He also explained that we don't want to rush into anything before we're ready. I'm pretty sure that he only said that to get his mother off of his back, because Lester has a big mouth and he let it slip that he went with Carlos to look at engagement rings. I guess that means that his love does come with a ring.

Whenever, Joe would bring up marriage, I would run the other direction. But the thought of Carlos buying an engagement ring brings a big smile to my face. Lester never would say if Carlos actually bought a ring or not. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but you never know.

Even my mother has noticed how happy I am. She sat me down one day and apologized for trying to pressure me to marry Joe. She also said that she was glad that I never gave in to her demands like I did with Dickie and that she is thrilled to see that I am happy with Carlos. She did manage to slip in that she would love for Carlos and I to eventually get married and give her more grandchildren, but she promised to try not to pressure.

If Ranger and I do decide to get married, that's great. But if we decided to keep things how they are, that's great too. All I know is that for the first time in my life, I'm truly happy.


End file.
